Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhod

"My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things — that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior." ~ John Newton

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is a volume edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem. It covers many different topics from male headship and biblical submission to the roles for women in the Church to the dangers of the modern feminist movement. I would highly recommended this volume to any Christian wishing to get a good understanding of the breath and depth of the many issues surrounding gender roles, identity and function from a biblical perspective.

I've been reading this book on and off over my time here in Alaska. It's been very good food for thought. I have particularly appreciated the chapter by Elizabeth Elliot entitled The Essence of Femininity: A personal perspective.  Elizabeth Elliot has always been a personal hero of mine and I have been blessed by many of her other books.  I enjoyed this chapter immensely because it shined some light on a burning question I have had for the past two years, 'What does it mean to be a Christian Woman?'

When I was a new believer, I nearly despaired of ever managing to be a 'good' Christian woman.  I thought I had to be quiet, non-confrontational and demure. Three things I most certainly was not! In my eyes, the perfect Christian woman was thin, stylish and short. She never spoke out of turn or gave her opinion or disagreed with someone. I knew that the girl I was previously could not longer be (a Proverbs 7 women, if there ever was one!). But, who to become I was unsure.

By the grace of God, over the past two years I have had the blessing of having many older Godly women pour into my life. Through their examples, I have seen that Christian women do not come prepackaged and saran-wrapped with flawless complexions and personalities. I have seen that God is personally responsible for molding and creating each of us with our own unique bodies and unique dispositions. I can also see that God is refining us to be more like His Son, not more like American's Next Top Model or more like Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker or Oprah. He has a unique plan for each of, and a unique identity to be found only in Christ. Some of us must learn to speak more boldly, and some of us, well...we must learn to shut up! I am so thankful for all the women at GBC, FBC and the Navigators who have personally invested in me and shown me what it means to be a women who loves the Lord.

This is just a piece of my ongoing journey to Biblical Womanhood:
(Maybe you will see part of your story in mine)

Growing up as a nominal Christian in public school, you could say that I did not develop the healthiest understanding of gender roles. For most of my childhood, I never strongly identified with the world of women. I knew I was a girl biologically, and I knew I wanted to grow up and marry a boy, but beyond that I was very confused. I had very few girl friends, and spent most of my time in what could be seen as traditionally boy pursuits. The truth was, I was afraid of girls. I had been teased for being overweight and ugly by a few girls in grade school, so I assumed all girls hated me. I believed what they told me, that I was ugly and would never be a real girl. So at some point in time, somewhere inside my head, I decided that if I couldn't be good at being a girl, I would be good at being something else. So I took up the defensive position. In order to save myself the pain of rejection, I became hard and bitter. Along with that I became arrogant, prideful and just plain mean. I did my best to always be 'one of the guys', because I felt safer there. I wanted to be the leader: strong, brave, independent, needing no one.

All of this was a farce to cover the ashes of my broken heart.

However, in high school things changed, I began to loose weight and all of a sudden I noticed that guys looked at me a little differently than they used to. 'Eureka!' I thought 'maybe if I have a boyfriend, then I'll be a real girl'. Because I was still dead in my sins and trespasses, this meant one thing to me: POWER. I quickly realized that if I dressed a certain way, talked a certain way, laughed a certain way, that certain types of guys would pay attention to me. Oh, how I loved attention! After years of being ignored, I could finally commandeer the attention I so craved. You could say a I began to prey upon men (boys really), hapless 'nerdy' guys who had as low a self-image as I did. I would flirt with them, attract their attention and loyalty for as long as I desired and then I would dispose of them. Oh what a beast I was! On the outside, I looked like any other teenage serial dater, but on the inside I was nothing more than a flirtatious, manipulative whore.

Then everything changed!

I met Him.

I met my real knight in shinning armor on September 28th, 2009. He  'delivered me from the power of darkness and conveyed me into the kingdom of the Son of His love...' (Colossians 1:13). He gave me a new heart and a new spirit, He took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). I met the man who will 'never leave me nor forsake me' (Hebrews 13:5). I met my savior, my redeemer, my greatest friend and true love, Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God.

This, my friends is why I am so thankful for the gospel! Jesus Christ redeemed me from from my former life! He is the only reason I am unashamed to tell you this story. The truth about who I used to be is one of the greatest shames of my life. But, Christ has taken my filthy rags and given me His robes of righteousness! He has taken my broken heart and made it whole. God is so gracious. I deserved death and eternal punishment for my sins, but instead He has given me life anew and the sure hope of eternity!

Therefore, I have renounced the hidden things of shame and through The Spirit put to death the deeds of the flesh. (2 Corinthians 4:2, Romans 8:13)

 and Therefore, "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation for all who believe..." (Romans 1:16)