Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhod

"My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things — that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior." ~ John Newton

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is a volume edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem. It covers many different topics from male headship and biblical submission to the roles for women in the Church to the dangers of the modern feminist movement. I would highly recommended this volume to any Christian wishing to get a good understanding of the breath and depth of the many issues surrounding gender roles, identity and function from a biblical perspective.

I've been reading this book on and off over my time here in Alaska. It's been very good food for thought. I have particularly appreciated the chapter by Elizabeth Elliot entitled The Essence of Femininity: A personal perspective.  Elizabeth Elliot has always been a personal hero of mine and I have been blessed by many of her other books.  I enjoyed this chapter immensely because it shined some light on a burning question I have had for the past two years, 'What does it mean to be a Christian Woman?'

When I was a new believer, I nearly despaired of ever managing to be a 'good' Christian woman.  I thought I had to be quiet, non-confrontational and demure. Three things I most certainly was not! In my eyes, the perfect Christian woman was thin, stylish and short. She never spoke out of turn or gave her opinion or disagreed with someone. I knew that the girl I was previously could not longer be (a Proverbs 7 women, if there ever was one!). But, who to become I was unsure.

By the grace of God, over the past two years I have had the blessing of having many older Godly women pour into my life. Through their examples, I have seen that Christian women do not come prepackaged and saran-wrapped with flawless complexions and personalities. I have seen that God is personally responsible for molding and creating each of us with our own unique bodies and unique dispositions. I can also see that God is refining us to be more like His Son, not more like American's Next Top Model or more like Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker or Oprah. He has a unique plan for each of, and a unique identity to be found only in Christ. Some of us must learn to speak more boldly, and some of us, well...we must learn to shut up! I am so thankful for all the women at GBC, FBC and the Navigators who have personally invested in me and shown me what it means to be a women who loves the Lord.

This is just a piece of my ongoing journey to Biblical Womanhood:
(Maybe you will see part of your story in mine)

Growing up as a nominal Christian in public school, you could say that I did not develop the healthiest understanding of gender roles. For most of my childhood, I never strongly identified with the world of women. I knew I was a girl biologically, and I knew I wanted to grow up and marry a boy, but beyond that I was very confused. I had very few girl friends, and spent most of my time in what could be seen as traditionally boy pursuits. The truth was, I was afraid of girls. I had been teased for being overweight and ugly by a few girls in grade school, so I assumed all girls hated me. I believed what they told me, that I was ugly and would never be a real girl. So at some point in time, somewhere inside my head, I decided that if I couldn't be good at being a girl, I would be good at being something else. So I took up the defensive position. In order to save myself the pain of rejection, I became hard and bitter. Along with that I became arrogant, prideful and just plain mean. I did my best to always be 'one of the guys', because I felt safer there. I wanted to be the leader: strong, brave, independent, needing no one.

All of this was a farce to cover the ashes of my broken heart.

However, in high school things changed, I began to loose weight and all of a sudden I noticed that guys looked at me a little differently than they used to. 'Eureka!' I thought 'maybe if I have a boyfriend, then I'll be a real girl'. Because I was still dead in my sins and trespasses, this meant one thing to me: POWER. I quickly realized that if I dressed a certain way, talked a certain way, laughed a certain way, that certain types of guys would pay attention to me. Oh, how I loved attention! After years of being ignored, I could finally commandeer the attention I so craved. You could say a I began to prey upon men (boys really), hapless 'nerdy' guys who had as low a self-image as I did. I would flirt with them, attract their attention and loyalty for as long as I desired and then I would dispose of them. Oh what a beast I was! On the outside, I looked like any other teenage serial dater, but on the inside I was nothing more than a flirtatious, manipulative whore.

Then everything changed!

I met Him.

I met my real knight in shinning armor on September 28th, 2009. He  'delivered me from the power of darkness and conveyed me into the kingdom of the Son of His love...' (Colossians 1:13). He gave me a new heart and a new spirit, He took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). I met the man who will 'never leave me nor forsake me' (Hebrews 13:5). I met my savior, my redeemer, my greatest friend and true love, Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God.

This, my friends is why I am so thankful for the gospel! Jesus Christ redeemed me from from my former life! He is the only reason I am unashamed to tell you this story. The truth about who I used to be is one of the greatest shames of my life. But, Christ has taken my filthy rags and given me His robes of righteousness! He has taken my broken heart and made it whole. God is so gracious. I deserved death and eternal punishment for my sins, but instead He has given me life anew and the sure hope of eternity!

Therefore, I have renounced the hidden things of shame and through The Spirit put to death the deeds of the flesh. (2 Corinthians 4:2, Romans 8:13)

 and Therefore, "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation for all who believe..." (Romans 1:16)

Alaska Wildfie Conservation Center

Today was an amazing day. I can't even begin to describe the things I've seen. We drove down to the town of Girdwood (about 45 minutes out of Anchorage). Lori has a year long membership to the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center. It's a 200 acre home to over 100 animals (or so the signs say). The drive was incredible. The pictures speak volumes more then I ever could. I wish my mind had a USB port so I could download and preserve everything I saw today. Alaska is certainly the most unique place I have ever visited.

The Drive to Portage

Go Bulls!

Breathtaking

A "Ghost Forest"

 Interesting fact, in 1964 there was a massive earthquake in Alaska. It was the third biggest earthquake in recorded history and the biggest earthquake in North America. It completely destroyed the town of Portage (it was never rebuilt). In Portage the ground dropped ten feet, which caused salt water to rush in. This killed the trees, but at the same time preserved them, leaving behind "forests" of dead trees, aptly named ghost forests.

Wood Bison are only found in Alaska and Canada. They are very different from your typical plains bison.

My winter gear. It was 20 degrees outside, but I was toasty warm!

We also drove down to Portage lake. You can see glaciers there. Glaciers are hard to distinguish from the mountains in the winter, as everything is covered in snow. But, if you look closely you can see the clear blue ice of the glaciers in the hollows between mountain peaks.

For some size perspective: that's me sitting on the rocks.

The sunset reflecting on the mountains on the drive home.

The Ethics of Embryonic Stem Cell Research

            In recent years modern medical technology has advanced by leaps and bounds. There have been many new technologies and new developments. One such area of recent scientific development is stem cell therapy. Stem cell therapy is a very promising area of research. Research has indicated that stem cells could be used in the treatment (and even cure) of disease such as Alzheimer’s, diabetes, cancer, Parkinson’s disease and paralysis. Many scientists have heralded this research as the next, up-and-coming ‘wonder drug’. However, this emerging technology is not without it’s ethical concerns. Before diving into the ethical concerns surrounding stem cell therapy it is important to have a basic understanding of exactly what stem cells are and what stem cell therapy is. To put it succinctly, stem cells are cells that have not differentiated. Differentiation is the process a cell goes through to become specialized. There are over two hundred different types of cells in the human body and they all have their origin in stem cells. Every cell in the human body starts out as a stem cell. Stem cells have three general properties: they are capable of dividing and renewing themselves for long periods; they are unspecialized; and they can give rise to specialized cell types (“Stem Cell Basics”). There are many different types of stem cells. All stem cells fall under two broad categories; adult (tissue specific) stem cells and embryonic stem cells. Embryonic stem cells can differentiate into any type of cell in the body; they are referred to as Pluripotent stem cells. Conversely, adult stem cells are much more limited in their ability to differentiate, thusly they are called multipotent stem cells. Induced pluripotent cells are non-pluripotent cells that were engineered (‘induced’) to become pluripotent, that is, able to form all cell types of the body. In other words, a cell with a specialized function (for example a skin cell) was ‘reprogrammed’ to an unspecialized state similar to that of an embryonic stem cell. While IPS cells and embryonic stem cells share many characteristics they are not identical (“An Overview of Stem Cell Research”).

            Adult stem cells have been used in the treatment of many different diseases for a great number of years. Bone marrow contains blood-forming stem cells (hematopoietic stem cells) that have been used for decades to treat blood cancers and other blood disorders. Umbilical cord blood is another source of hematopoietic stem cells that is being used in treatment.

            There are very few ethical concerns arising from the use of adult stem cells for research, beyond the normal ethical concerns involved in research. However, that is most certainly not the case with human embryonic stem cells (hESC). Currently, research on embryonic stem cells may well be one of the most hotly contested ethical dilemmas in healthcare. Despite this, there is very little real understanding of the heart of the issue. In order to fully grasp the ethical quandaries presented by hESC research it is imperative to have a scientific understanding of exactly what is occurring during research. As we have already discussed, a stem cell is an undifferentiated cell. The National Institute of Health (NIH) defines human embryonic stem cells (hESC) as cells “that are derived from the inner cell mass of blastocyst stage human embryos, are capable of dividing without differentiating for a prolonged period in culture, and are known to develop into cells and tissues of the three primary germ layers.” A human being is considered an embryo from conception through the end of the second month. In order to manufacture hESC, scientists create an embryo (or use one left over from IVF), and after it undergoes several cycles of division they extract the stem cells. The extraction of the stem cells necessitates the destruction of the embryo. It is this fact that is the key issue of the hESC debate. The entire debate hinges on this one question: “is an embryo a human life?”

            The Britannica academic edition online defines biologic life as “Matter characterized by the ability to metabolize nutrients (process materials for energy and tissue building), grow, reproduce, and respond and adapt to environmental stimuli.” An embryo fits this description for the moment of conception. So we know that an embryo is alive, now is it a human life? Each human embryo contains the DNA to become a genetically distinct human life. It would be unethical to define human life by age, developmental status, usefulness, or ‘wantedness’. Therefore, an embryo being by definition alive and by genetic design a human, is a human life worthy of protection. Human life is priceless, from the very moment of conception to the last breath. The creation and destruction of human embryos violates every single ethical criterion. It goes against nonmalevoelce (do no harm) as it kills a living human being. It also defies autonomy, as that embryo does not have a say in what is happening to it. It defies benevolence for obvious reasons and well as Justice. Where is the justice in killing a child before it’s even a week old? There is therefore no ethical way to use hESC for research. To deny that the prospects of hESC research is anything less than thrilling would be futile, nonetheless it is vital that we tread with caution. It is imperative for the sake of our generation and future generations that we continue to uphold the ethical and moral principles that have held our society together. To abandon our integrity for any reason is to step unto the path of self-destruction.

            The question remains as to what to do with the surplus of human embryos left over from IVF and other fertility treatments. As we have already discussed, using human embryos for research is unethical. Different pro-life ethicist have come up with solutions one such solution is to place the embryos up for adoption. Several organizations have been created for this purpose.

            In conclusion, creating human life for the specific purpose of destroying it or performing experiments on it is grotesque. Doing the wrong thing in hopes of achieving the right outcome is never acceptable. People have used the argument of ‘the end justifies the means’ to justify many inhumane, horrific acts. As a nation it is imperative that we do not give into the pressure to compromise our values for the sake of finances. The maintenance of integrity is worth every cost and every sacrifice. If we are to survive as a nation it is imperative that we protect the sanctity of human life, at all stages of development.

Back ground to 'The Ethics of Embryonic Stem Cell Research'

I wrote this paper for a Honors Biomedical Ethics seminar I took last spring. I never wrote about the class while I was in it, because even now, it's is difficult for me to speak negatively about my teachers. This is probably a result of coming from a family of educators. But, truth be told, this class was THE hardest class I have ever taken, from an emotional and spiritually viewpoint. Looking back now, I should have known what I was getting myself into, but hindsight is 20-20 right? This class is normally reserved for bio-med majors in the 7 year B.S/M.D program. So I, always the idealist, requested a permit to take it. I thought it would help round out my education or something (as if people go to college to get educated these days).

The class began well enough, I was very excited about the topics we were going to cover. Even better, my professor had actually worked in the field as a cardiac surgeon. But, it didn't take very long for me to realize that this class was not what I thought it was going to be. The professor made it very clear to us from day one that he knew he was a big-wig in the world of medicine and that a recommendation letter from him would be a great asset to anyone applying to med school. I was already in the USF College of Nursing, so I wasn't particularly concerned with working extra hard to make sure I stayed on his good side. However,  I was the only one in the class who could say that. It also became abundantly clear that my professor wasn't really concerned with teaching us to think ethically, or to think at all for that matter. My professor had a worldview and he was intent on replicating that worldview in us. Unfortunately, our world views were about as polar opposite as you could get.

Class generally went like this: 
He would give a mini lecture on a topic to introduce it to us. He would then pose a question or a scenario and then proceed to go one by one down the rows asking each person what they thought. At first, I willingly voiced my opinions, as every professor I had before seemed to appreciate an active participant. But, it didn't take me long to realize that the only opinions he appreciated were his own.

For the most part, as he went down the rows, everyone agreed with each other, with some slight variations. That is until we would get to me. 99% of the time whatever he/the class thought was the 'right' thing to do was, I thought the opposite. I don't say that proudly, I don't take pleasure in being contrary. Depending on the topic, and his mood, he would then proceed to either bulldoze me or insult and ridicule me. The first time he made personal remarks about me in front of that class, I was shell-shocked. I had been treated that way by students before, and I didn't really mind that, but a professor? His bias became more and more evident as time went on. I started to notice that my grades were markedly lower than everyone else and his tirades in class got more personal.

Sometimes, the things that people would say that they thought were ethically permissible would make me want to vomit, then weep. To be honest, I sometimes half-seriously prayed "Lord, I hope these people don't get into med school, they'll kill people!" (Probably not the best way to pray for people). One group on their final project had this suggestion for solving the organ donation crisis: Genetically alter human embryos so that they are born with the condition known as anencephaly (a condition where a baby is essentially born without a brain) then harvest the organs! I was disgusted and dismayed. Now I understand why doctors have the reputation of having 'God complexes', they start teaching them to think they are Gods in undergrad!

I eventually grew to dread the class, the windowless inner room of the honors college labyrinth never seemed to have enough air.  To add insult to injury, I was pretty sure I was going to fail the class. I never got above an 80 on a single paper and I flat out failed the midterm. This made me exceptionally nervous because I was concerned that a low grade in the class would jeopardize my conditional acceptance to the College of Nursing. I went to talk to my Honors adviser, who had been a great help to me in times past, and he suggested that I speak to one of the Honors College Deans about my concerns. I was skeptical that this would be of any use, but for the sake of my adviser, I thought I'd at least give it a try. To my disappointment, the meeting went as I expected. I tried to explain about the personal attacks and bias in the grading. However,  I was essentially told to "shut up and deal with it, it's his class and he can do what he wants". I lost my faith in the Honors College at that point in time. It was a very rude awakening. I would have dropped out of the class and the Honors College if it wouldn't haven't meant repaying tons of money to Bright Futures. Also, I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had given up and backed down.

So I gritted my teeth, and buckled down and dealt with it. I showed up to every class, on time. I worked my butt off on every assignment. I tried to keep my head down and only speak when called upon. And you know what? I couldn't see it then, but the lessons I learned in that class were invaluable and I wouldn't go back and change one single thing. He may have humiliated me and made me cry, but persecution only increased my faith in God.


I learned several very valuable lessons from that class:

1. The world and I are not friends. We can never be friends. The world may play nice for a while, but don't get comfortable. Remember what Jesus said "A servant is not greater than his Master, if the world hates you it is because they hated me first."

2. It is always worth it to stand up for what is right. Even if you are the only one. Don't defile your conscious.

3. But, sometimes it's okay to not voice your opinion on a subject. Make sure you only die on the hills that are worth it.

4. Remember to respect authority, 1 Peter style (the gentle and the harsh).

5. The discipline of the Lord is not pleasant, but painful, but afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Alaska (part 2)

I've been in Alaska for 3 days now. It only get's more beautiful as the time goes on. It was 39 degrees and raining when we left church yesterday. It was....weird. I never thought I'd come to Alaska and get rained on of all things. I've really been enjoying it here. It's so wonderful not to have to think about school or work. Lori has been an amazing host. It's wonderful to just sit and talk to her. I don't get much time to just sit around and talk about life when school is in session. Plus, since Chase and Her are only ten years older then me, I really look to them for where I want to be in ten years. I would absolutely love to have a family like they do one day.

I spent part of yesterday evening laying legos with the boys. I was never much of a Lego kid myself, I always played with knex. But, the boys LOVE legos. I made a carriage! The boys are so creative and so imaginative and they play really well together (for the most part haha).

Today, I shoveled snow for the first time! (Insert sarcastic 'woohoo' from my northern friends). But hey, for a Florida girl, it was a big deal! My cousins have a snow blower, but it was having mechanical issues so I ended up clearing most of the driveway by hand with a shovel. I really enjoyed it, honestly. It was a great workout! I might just volunteer to do that job for the rest of the time I'm here just to have something active to do. I started running three times a week back in September, so my body's gotten acclimated to a certain level of activity. I feel weird just sitting around not doing anything physical. Plus, my arms could really use some toning (haha).

Austin is my most willing photo partner

Funny Faces!

Here are some photos I've taken around the house and neighborhood.  These don't even begin to do it justice.

 Lori leaves tomorrow morning for Alabama. Then it's just gonna be me and three kids for five days straight. I'm excited and a little nervous. I've been working as a nanny for almost seven years now, but this is certainly going to be my longest time on my own with children. Sometimes I feel with all the work I do with kids, you could just call me insta-mom (lol). But, I'm not mom, no matter how much time I spend with someone else's children, they will always be someone else's children. I will always be second best for hugs or comfort for a scrapped knee. I can't wait to be mom to some 'little people' (as Lori calls her kids) one day.

Alaska (Part 1)

So I haven't written in a while. You see, the funny thing is, when life is good, I don't have much to say.  And this semester, by the grace and mercy of God, was very good. 

I am once again traveling. It has become glaringly obvious that I've been bitten by the travel bug. This is my third trip this year. I've managed to make it to Jamaica and Honduras, and after I get back to Tampa, I'll be going on a cruise to Belize and Mexico!

I am writing this post from Eagle River, Alaska! Eagle river is located about 30 minutes outside of Anchorage. I left Florida at 6:30 AM yesterday morning and after three flights, two layovers and fourteen hours I arrived in Alaska at 4 PM local time.  This is the farthest north I have ever been. I am here visiting my cousin Chase and his wife Lori and their three Children. Chase is the oldest son of my Dad's oldest brother. He's a captain in the army and got stationed here a year ago. It was so incredibly kind of them to fly me out here. This is a once in a life time kind of trip.

Want to know something awesome? I wasn't supposed to get to see my cousin before he deployed, but I asked the Lord if I could just get to have dinner with him the night I flew in. And guess what? The Lord answered prayer! Not only did I get to eat dinner with him and his family, I got to spend the whole evening with them. God is so faithful.

I cannot even begin to describe how amazingly beautiful this place is.  I feel like I'm in a movie. The trees with snow on them look just like the movies. Oh! and the mountains! They're huge! The pictures really don't do them justice. They look almost blue. I went out and played in snow for the first time. It was so surreal. I mean, two days ago I was sweating as went for a run in 80+ degree weather. I made a snow angel! Also, contrary to popular belief it's not always dark here. We get about 6 hours of daylight, It gets light around 10 AM and dark around 4 PM. It was very disorienting to wake up at 8:30 AM and have it still be dark.

My first snow Angel!

I would say I look like the abominable snowman, But I feel like that would be doing him a disservice

 

Who would have thought a Florida girl could make it this far?

In other news, I'm done with my second semester of nursing school! Two down, three to go! I'm just praising the Lord that i've made it this far. I've been in college for 6 semester now, WOW.