Dicontentment Part 2

I'm half way though my first semester of nursing. It blows my mind that the summer has passed so quickly. Being in nursing school is different than anything else I've ever experienced. It's honestly a full time job. I've really been struggling with being discontent. I feel like I shouldn't have to be here, shouldn't have to being doing all this school work in the summer. I have gotten to the point where I wish I was anywhere but here. I can hardly stand going on facebook anymore because all I see is everyone else getting to do everything I wish I was doing. I'm tired of getting up early, I'm tired of studying all the time, tired of being around stressed out exhausted people constantly. Please pray for me.


I wrote this in class today:

"I never realized,
when I let that first thought
sink down in my heart
That it would come to this

like an Israelite
accusing God, blaming God
"Why did you bring us out here to die!"
Lusting after meat, after milk
Desiring to create a God they could control

Never satisfied

Discontentment, a thorny weed
Choking the life of the branches
fruit, once ripe, sweet, now shriveled, bitter

I have made my bed amidst the thorns
seeking what can never be found there
Looking for something to ease the ache
Yet, the more I turn over and over
The more the thorns tear my flesh"

In my foolishness I could not see how allowing myself to dwell on the things I could not have, would steal the joy of the things I do have.