The CV Chronicles: Week 7

This week I faced Monday morning prepared for battle. I was armed to the teeth with tissues, ibuprofen and dark chocolate, ready to endure what I expected to be week long siege of my cabin by very tiny, very destructive militants (sometimes referred to as 'children.') I had heard horror stories from returning staff about the week 7 slump. I was utterly convinced that this week was going to be terrible. I awoke Monday morning feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually drained. To make matters worse, I was coming out of a weekend of battling sin and doubt. I wasn't sure how I could go on. I thought 'How am I supposed to love these kids and show them Christ when I really just want to go find a hole and crawl in it till it's time for me to go back to Tampa?'

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10~

However, God, in his mercy, had other plans (You think I would learn to stop being surprised when this happens, for real). I had a GREAT week. I think I will show you rather then just tell you (A pictures worth a thousand words right?) One of my campers prayed to receive Christ on Friday night. How cool is it that I get to be a part of that?

A note my campers left me on Saturday morning. They are so darn cute, even when they can't spell my name right.

 

My little sheep! We won honor cabin every single day this week.

 

New barefoot running shoes, they are seriously the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned 

This is what an honor cabin looks like. 

That's what I'm talking about. 

Working the rock wall is probably my favorite activity at camp. I love playing around and challenging myself to try new routes.

Moments like this are why I am a camp counselor. 

This is the view from the ball field I get to enjoy every single day during evening games. It's so beautiful, photos don't do it justice. It is a constant reminder of the beauty of our maker and His everlasting love for me.

 

Getting ready for the sponge relay. 

 

The water was so cold!

Every Friday night we have an outdoor service. We do skits for the kids, watch a highlights video, then we have songs, a message and a testimony time.

This has been the best summer of my life. Seriously. I love this place.

USF Senior Year Bucket List

I was inspired by a friend of mine to create a senior year bucket list. I'm so excited that I'm a senior this year. I' really looking forward to what the Lord is going to do this year. I plan to keep adding to this list until school starts. Feel free to give me suggestions!

Senior Year Bucket List

1. Canoe at River Front Park
2. Do the High Ropes course
3. Frisbee golf at River Front Park
4. Watch an IMAX movie at MOSI
5. Eat dinner and watch the sunset on top of the beard parking garage
6. Swim in the MLK fountain
7. Take Cap and Gown picture sitting on the bulls by the MSC
8. Feed the ducks by J-pop
9. Go to a USF dance and band performance
10. Watch a game and eat at Beef O Brady's
11. Go to vertical ventures
12. Eat at Tacobus
13. Go to a USF football, soccer, baseball and volleyball game. 
14. Go swing dancing at Zenda Grotto
15. Learn ASL for Romans
16. Learn to ride a unicycle
17. Take a picture with Rocky
18. Eat at OTP

The CV Chronicles: My Heart For Missions

"How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!"

~Romans 10:14-15~

This summer has been instrumental in deepening my understanding of missions. I have been so blessed this summer to meet full time missionaries from all over the world. I've met missionaries from places as exotic as Africa to as domestic as Birmingham. Yet no matter what the location these people are joyfully serving God and reaching the unreached. Through many presentations and conversations my heart has been moving from "I would like to do missions" to "I MUST do missions". I have seen the need. I have heard their cries. I can no longer deny the burden in my heart. How could I live the rest of my life here in the safety of America, while millions of people pass into eternity without Christ.

The itch began, as do most of my passions, with a book. Over the past few years I've read many biographies of the great missionaries of the last two centuries: Jim and Elizabeth Elliot, Gladys Alwyard, Amy Carmichael, Eric Liddell. The list goes on and on. I have been inspired by their faith and their commitment to their convictions. I am humbled by their profound humility and reliance on the Lord.  


I do not know what the Lord has in store for me in the future. I always tell myself, tongue-in-cheek, that I might die of an aneurism tomorrow, so I shouldn't get too caught up in my plans. But, I pray that God would allow me to see the realization of my dream. To take the gospel to a people who have not heard it before. 

To those who would decry my dream because it isn't safe. I would reply: Of course it isn't safe! But, what is safety? I'll tell you what safety is: Safety is at best, an illusion and at worst, a prison. What's the point of trying to live a safe life? Your body is actively decaying. It's like trying to shine a rotten apple. Now I'm not talking about being foolish, I'm talking about making moves for the Gospel that might cost you something. In some situations it might cost you a relationship, or even your job; in other situations, it may cost you your very life. Listen brethren, if we value personal safety over the advancement of the kingdom, we are mistaken. Why are we so content to let our lives quietly slip through our fingers like grains of sand? Contentedly building our little towers of self-indulgence, when every single day countless souls enter the gates of Hell without even once hearing the name of Christ? To quote one of my favorite preachers Paul Washer "Go out there and die!" 
 

The children here at CV have no idea how truly blessed they are to be hearing what they are hearing. How many thousands of souls pass to the grave every day without ever even hearing the name of Christ! How many people groups have no national gospel witness? Christ must be proclaimed to all the nations, like John Piper says “missions exists because worship doesn’t".  These people were made to worship the God who made them, but they walk in darkness. Let us go and preach the gospel to them! What do we have to fear?  Hasn’t God told us “do not fear him who can kill the body and afterwards do no more, but fear Him who after he has killed the body can cast both body and soul into hell. I say fear Him” What can man do to me? I am praying that I have ‘beautiful feet’


There is a well worn groove in the back of my mind from countless days and nights of mental pacing. I continually question myself: What is the gospel worth to me? 


I want to know if my life will match what I say that I believe. I want to put feet to my speech, so to speak.  


In so many ways, I speak in complete ignorance. Some are of the opinion that is is best then to keep quiet. I, however, am of the opinion that the only way to have my ignorance corrected and my thought processes refined is to take the time to hash out my worldview and have it subsequently critiqued. I heartily welcome the criticism of my brothers and sisters in Christ.


Is not the God who gave His all, worthy of my all? What shall I withhold from the Lord my God? 

The CV Chronicles: Begone Unbelief

“Lord I believe, help my unbelief!”

~Mark 9:24~ 

If you know anything about me, you know I love hymns. My love for hymns began at the time of my salvation. I am frequently given odd looks at USF because I walk around constantly singing to myself, and 9 times out of 10 I am singing a hymn. I love how encouraging and edifying they are. 

Yesterday, unbelief settled like a dark cloud in my heart and followed after me all the day, I couldn't seem to shake it. As I have grown in Christ, satan no longer tempts me to doubt the existence of God, but he does frequently tempt me to doubt the goodness of God. This hymn comforted me in my trial.

Begone, unbelief,
  My Savior is near,
And for my relief
  Will surely appear;
By prayer let me wrestle,
  And He will perform;
With Christ in the vessel,
  I smile at the storm. 

I look at my campers, my little sheep, and I think, what can I do to help them? Some of them have been abused, some of them come from broken homes, some of them are false converts. What can I do to help them? All I have is one week with them. But, the truth is, I CAN'T do anything. But God can do anything!

How frequently do I cry out in prayer in desperation at my own lack of faith. I doubt the Lord so much, I disgust myself. I doubt His love, I doubt that He will work, I doubt His care. I hate it, I hate it I hate it. Why so frequently do my emotions not match my understanding? I know that the Lord loves me yet I still doubt. "OH WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM, WHO WILL DELIVER ME FROM THIS BODY OF DEATH"

 Though dark be my way,
  Since He is my Guide,
'Tis mine to obey,
  'Tis His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken,
  And creatures all fail,
The word He hath spoken
  Shall surely prevail.

I persistently struggle with desiring the approval of other Christians. Non-believers opinions don’t tend to affect me because, from my point of view, they are not evaluating me on God’s standards. However, believers, in my mind, are. So I take their opinion on the level of God’s. Which is so irrational, it hardly requires explanation. If I feel like brother or a sister disapproves of me, it shakes me up.

Why should I complain
  Of want or distress,
Temptation or pain?
  He told me no less;
The heirs of salvation,
  I know from His Word,
Through much tribulation
  Must follow their Lord.

Since all that I meet
  Shall work for my good,
The bitter is sweet,
  The medicine, food;
Though painful at present,
  'Twill cease before long,
And then, oh, how pleasant
  The conqueror's song!
 

Last night we had our own little CV 4th of July celebration. One of our staff has an air cannon that He uses to shoot glow sticks in the air. It's pretty cool. So we shot off glow sticks and let the campers catch them. While we were waiting for our turn, I set my little campers down and as I looked down at them my heart was filled with compassion and love for them. I love these little guys, I would do anything for them. They're my little sheep, almost entirely helpless. But you know what? I don't mind at all. I don't mind that they ask me the same thousand questions everyday, and loose everything, and spill their drinks at every meal and wake me up at 4am because they are scared. I love them.

I think God uses moments like this to show me how much He loves me. If I can have this much love, being the wretched sinner that I am, and these not even my own children, how much does He love me, His daughter?

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" 

~ Romans 8:32~

What a weak vessel I am.

But what a strong savior is my God!

The CV Chronicles: Last week

 So I’ve been here at CV for five weeks now. WOW. Time has flown. I’m half way through my time here. God has worked in so many miraculous ways this summer. Sometimes I am awestruck as I consider that the Lord would allow me to come to a such a wonderful place as this. Then I think about the fact that God has granted me access to His very presence in heaven when I die, and then I’m really awestruck.

My Pastor was the speaker this week. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have this man as my Pastor. He and his family have blessed me immensely these past two years. He is constantly encouraging, rebuking and instructing me. He never hesitates to point me toward Christ. It was so encouraging having Him, His family; one of our deacons and 7 other kids from our church come to camp this week. I had 5 girls from my church, plus my youngest niece in my cabin this week. I was so happy to see them.  The week went by so fast, but it was such a blessing to me. I loved ministering to the girls from my church, I love all of them and I consider it such a privilege to lead them.

Truly, truly I say to you, if there is one thing I have learned at CV this summer it’s my complete inadequacy as a counselor. But God has placed “this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God and not of us”. What that verse is talking about when it says earthen vessels, its talking about simple, breakable clay pots, used for everyday things, nothing special. And God has said that he uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. God has also told us that when we are weak, he is strong. And I will tell you friends; I am weak, so weak.  If there is any act of kindness that I do, anything godly that escapes my mouth, it is the Lord. In and of myself, I am worthless. But Christ is worthy, so worthy. 

If I were to name this period of my walk with God I would title it ‘running for my life’

To a degree, because I am literally always running. One thing about camp, it keeps you very active. (Which is kinda nice cause then you can enjoy all of Ms. Barb’s great cooking without fear haha). But mostly because living here is like living in a spiritual green house. I have seen my complete inadequacy and so I run to Christ. I run to Christ everyday.

Everyday I stand amazed at the abundant grace poured out on this unworthy sinner. 

This has truly been the best summer of my life. Everyday there is a new blessing from God, a new surprise and new challenge. Someone new to encourage in the faith, some to share the gospel with, someone to serve. It goes on and on. 

Saturdays at CV are really special. It’s a time to rejuvenate, catch up on sleep and connect with the staff.

 

This Saturday after taking a lovely nap, I went with some of the other staff to Florala (a little town about 15 minutes from camp) and went to the big lake there to go swimming. It was so pleasant. It reminded me a lot of my childhood. I challenged one of the guys to a race. I love racing in swimming, it’s honestly the only athletic competition I can even be competitive in. Unfortunately, He beat me 3 times! Granted, it was really close and He is a foot taller then me (well 6 inches). But still, I told Him that we’ll have to do a rematch when he get’s back from Laos.

Then we had a staff event. We ate dinner together and then played a game of softball. One of the guys helped me learn to catch and throw and Amy showed me how to hold a bat. Everyone here is so helpful, I am so incompetent so frequently, but everyone pitches in (pun intended) to show me how to be better. I managed to hit and get on base both times I got to bat! It was so much fun.  It’s so fun to learn how to play sports. I never did much as a kid because I was to out of shape and to involved in other things.  Then I played golf for the first time in the horse pasture! (Only in Alabama Haha, and no none of hit any of the horses). Afterwards we had ice cream and we had an outdoor movie. We watched captain America.

Now if you know me, you know I love watching a good superhero movie. I’ll have to say that the new captain America movie is one of my favorites. I was thinking this as I was watching the movie: Everybody is waiting for a hero to come in and rescue him or her. I think that’s why movies like this are so popular. We long for a good guy, someone who puts others first and will lay down his life for what He believes in. Inwardly we groan for redemption from sin and death.  Now for those of us who have found the Lord, we realize that our hero has come and he has rescued us. You see, we often focus on relief from our circumstances to be the point of our rescue, however Christ has shown us that, in fact our circumstances are usually the least of our problems. Our biggest is problem is our sin that has offended a Holy, Righteous and Just God, who will not let the guilty go unpunished.

So as I was watching the movie tonight I was asking myself “Sarah Jo, what kind of woman are you going to be? Many men will lay down their life for the sake of other lives. Will you lay down you life for the sake of others’ souls? Will you follow Christ no matter where He leads? Are you willing to go to battle for the sake of the gospel? How much is the gospel worth to you? Is it worth the loss of your dreams of a family; is it worth the lost of your comforts and pleasures, the loss of your friends and family? What kind of woman will you turn out to be Sarah Jo?

The CV Chronicles: Limitations

"And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:24


When I read the above verse I often think that it not only applies to those who are financially well off, but those who have other types of riches (social status, intellect, physical beauty etc.).  It has been my experience that these things have a way of blinding us to our desperate need for salvation. How sad is it that so frequently, the people who have the most resources to glorify God with, refuse to acknowledge their creator and take their lives into their own hands.

I've noticed something incredible about the people here at CV. I've have had the distinct pleasure of meeting some amazingly UNselfconscious believers. It's moving to see how gracefully they go about life, seemingly unaware of themselves and entirely focused on God and others. It's truly humbling and inspiring when I think about the fact that essentially 99% of the time I'm thinking about myself. Seriously, I have a blog, how much more narcissistic can you get? The funny thing is, these people have stuff, that from a worldly perspective, should make one self-conscious. But it doesn't. In speaking with them, when asked about why they are the way the are. The answer I have gotten over and over again is "you know Sarah, I just decided one day that I would give this to the Lord and if it was His will for me to be this way, then so be it. I will do the best I can with what I have. What use is there in complaining?"

God has been turning my heart through conversations with these precious Saints. "See my daughter, see how I have chosen to move through the weaknesses of my people. Pay close attention and heed this lesson. "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty." 1 Corinthians 1:27

Meditiating on these truths has caused my heart to become broken and contrite. How frequently do I doubt God's sovereignty when I complain about my perceived flaws and weaknesses. How often do I wish that I was better at XYZ or that certain parts of my personality would magically disappear. What a foolish child I am.

I have learned that, more often than not, God will use what the world calls a weakness in His child to bring about His purposes and His fame. So my brothers and sisters, do not despise your limitations weather they be physical or intellectual. God has purpose in them. Do not hide yourself in shame. Don't waste your life wishing you were another way.

Unexpected Joy (Video)

I wish that everyone who thinks it's merciful to murder disabled children before they are even born would watch this video.