I watched two very contrasting movies tonight.
The first was Easy A (if you haven't seen it, don't). I am actually fairly embarrassed to admit that I watch movies like that. Its a terrible habit I've picked up. It's so funny, I wouldn't dare watch a movie like that at school, but at home I don't think twice. I tell myself that I need to relax and take my mind off the stress of life, but inside my conscience is screaming at me. Time is so precious, and I am willing to squander it on a movie like that? I am deeply ashamed of myself. How could I let myself sit there and ingest filth like that? I tell myself that I need to take a break from thinking, that I've worked hard, that I deserve to rest. Lies, all lies. Lies my flesh comes up with to indulge itself. If there is one thing that is clear to me today, the day of my baptism, it is this: I am a wicked sinner saved by grace, by Christ alone. And, I am still just as in need of that grace as I was the day I was regenerated. I need so much grace everyday. I must learn to find my rest in Christ, not in the trash of this world.
On a side note, if you are having a hard time understanding your need for grace or you currently think that you are a good person, may I suggest reading through the old testament? I am reading through the OT right now with my mentor from GBCT and we just finished up the Pentateuch. If there's one thing that I have learned from reading the Law it's this: I deserve to die for my sins, hands down. God killed people in the OT for far, far less then the sins I have committed. Seriously, if I was an Israelite leaving Egypt, I wouldn't have made it to the Red Sea, I wouldn't have made it to Mt. Sinai. No, I would have stepped one foot out of Egypt and blasphemed, complained and rebelled all in one sentence and straight up died.
The second movie I watched was God Grew Tired Of Us. It's a documentary about the Sudanese civil war. I really like watching documentaries. For background on the conflict read Second Sudanese War. The movie focuses specifically on the lives of a generation of boys called the lost boys. These boys were displaced from Sudan during the war and after traveling thousands of miles, eventually became refugees in Kenya. Thousands lost their lives to starvation, disease or military attacks.
I've often struggled with the question of why I have so much when others have so little. I have asked God for an answer but so far He has remained silent in the specifics. I have learned to rest in His sovereignty and trust the goodness of His plan. But, still I wrestle in my heart. I see the bodies of children emaciated and disease ridden. I see the war torn earth, cracked and dry, begging for healing from the skies. My breath catches in my throat and I feel so incredibly helpless. The absolute suffering, the desperation and the vile abuse that so many people experience, is beyond my imagination. My heart cries out to God for relief. Lord Jesus, come quickly and make all things new.
My worst fear is that one day, far quicker then I ever expected, I will wake up old and decrepit, only to look back with agonizing regret and realize that I have squandered my life. My one and only life here on earth I wasted in vain pursuits and useless pleasures. I have been given so many resources, may it never be that I waste them.
Lord, take my life, all of it. Suck it dry for your Kingdom. Use me up. Take it, take it all, every last thing. I don't want it anymore.
Lord send me, i'll go.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Semester in Review
So this is my third post this week (and my second tonight). I really haven't had time to write this semester. Plus, i've pretty much come to realize I don't really like writing (or talking) unless I'm fired up about something. If you're only getting 6 hours of sleep a night for weeks on end you really don't have the energy to get fired up about much. On top that, even if you do get fired up about an issue, as soon as you sit down to write about it, you fall asleep!
This semester has been surprising. I would have never guessed things would turn out the way they have. Here I am at the end of my second year of college already. Where has the time gone?
So here's what happened to me this semester:
First and foremost, I started getting a lot more involved with the local body (Grace Bible Church of Tampa) I started attending in the fall. I started out just going to the main service last semester. But, this semester I started helping out in the nursery during the Sunday school hour. I also started going to the Sunday evening service, Wednesday bible study and Grace on Campus (The college ministry) on Thursday's. I couldn't get enough of it (still can't really). I really began to love the people there and from the first day I went I felt like they really loved me too. I have never felt so welcome anywhere. They have taught me so much about the Word of God and what it really means to follow Christ for a life time.
On a side note, friends, if you haven't found a local bible-teaching church to be a part of. RUN, DON'T WALK to your nearest one! I cannot stress it enough how important it is. We college kids miss out on so much by avoiding being part of the body. Joining GBCT has been one of the best things I have ever done in my walk with God.
One unintended side effect of all this church going was I started to get to know this guy Kyle really well. I originally met Kyle at a Nav bowling social in the fall (the only reason I know that is cause that's how he said we met, I actually don't recall meeting him there at all). I saw him at GBCT the first time I went and I knew he lived in the dorm adjacent to mine. Putting two and two together, I commandeered him into giving me rides to church, as I didn't have a car! To be honest for the whole fall semester, I didn't think much of him. I thought to myself, he's a freshman, he's probably immature. He honestly didn't cross my mind at all. I actually made a point at the beginning of the spring semester to make sure he knew, in very clear words, that I was absolutely, positively NOT (as in never, ever going to be) interested in him. I felt very good about myself after that conversation actually. Needless to say, things changed very quickly. Within the first couple weeks of the semester I realized how wrong I had been to judge him. I remember walking away from each of our conversations amazed by his Love for God and dedication to scripture. Plus, I noticed how gracious and kind he was to everyone he met, no matter how they acted. I was singularly impressed. I ended up asking for his forgiveness for being so unkind when we first met. My heart towards him began to change very quickly.
About a month after our "let's just be friends" conversation. He asked me if I wanted to go get icecream after church. We had gone before as a group, but this time no one else was available to go. So it would be just me and him. I got MAD. I was thinking "seriously, why are you trying to hang out with me one on one? Do you think I'm some kind of easy girl that will just spend time with anyone?. See Sarah, this is what you get for talking to a guy, you should of just drove your own dang car to church. Gosh darn it, I don't want to be played with, GAHHH"
I didn't say anything the whole ride back to campus. When we got to Andros. Kyle asked me what was wrong. I thought about lying and never talking to him again. But, I figured he deserved the benefit of the doubt for giving me so many rides to church. So I told him the truth. I said "Kyle, I really like talking to you, but I'm really afraid that you're just playing with me and I really don't want that to happen." We got out ice cream in complete silence. Then he finally spoke. "Well Sarah, about what you said. I like you." At this point, I'm still mad, and I'm thinking "oh, so you think you can just tell me you like me and that makes everything cool, yeah right." So I shot back with "well what does that mean?". He then preceded to tell me why and that he had been waiting to tell me, but he decided to tell me now so I wouldn't think he was playing with me. Then I cried. Yea, pretty dramatic.
So we took a week to pray about and to talk with the Godly counsel in our lives. To be honest, I had made up my mind by the next morning, but I did wait to see what different people in my life had to say. So, that how Sarah Jo the ever persistent Navigator Never-dater ended up with a boyfriend. Believe me, it probably surprised me more then it surprised me.
Kyle has been such a blessing from the Lord. He has encouraged me so much to be more diligent in my disciplines, to fight sin with more vigor and to love God more. He is such a great leader. His character is what impresses me the most. I could go on and on about all the ways he has impacted my life.
If there's one thing I have learned from this experience is this: Ladies, don't let your personal preferences cause you to reject a Godly man without consideration for his character. Often times we put so much emphasis on the exterior and personality of a man without taking into account his character. The bible has standards for how a Godly man should live, if a man is doing that and he's interested in you, give him a chance. A Godly man is a rare find, don't forget that.
The other major change that has occurred this semester is I cut off my involvment with The Navs. It was a really difficult choice. I'd rather not go into all the reasons I decided to stop going. But, I am very thankful for my time with them and their impact on my life. I also got a job as a nanny for an agency. I really enjoy my work.
For spring break I went to Jamaica with the Honors College (similar to what I did in Panama last spring break). The trip was incredible. We went to this rural part of the south coast called Treaure Beach, about three hours from Montego Bay. We spent the whole week there doing community service. I spent three days assisting a medical team with a free clinic. I cannot begin to describe how incredible of an experience that was. I loved every minute of it. I got to shadow several different types of doctors. I learned so much.
One that has really developed in my heart this semester is a heart for adoption. Adoption has always been something I've wanted to do. I have met several families at Grace that have adopted children. Also, my pastor and his wife have been going through the process of adopting a little girl. Whenever I think about child not being loved, or being hurt or abandoned, my hurt just brakes. I just want to open my arms and say "I'll love you, I'll take care of you, even if nobody else wants you, I want you." I hope one day I will be able to put my dreams into action.
hmmm, other miscellaneous things. I had an ethics professor who was, shall we say, less then ethical...Uh, don't feel like talking about that now. I'm just glad its over.
So I start my first semester of the college of nursing May 16th. I'll be doing clinicals at University Community Hospital. Wish me luck! I am carrying 13 credits, plus doing clinicals, so I will be a busy bee this summer!
This semester has been surprising. I would have never guessed things would turn out the way they have. Here I am at the end of my second year of college already. Where has the time gone?
So here's what happened to me this semester:
First and foremost, I started getting a lot more involved with the local body (Grace Bible Church of Tampa) I started attending in the fall. I started out just going to the main service last semester. But, this semester I started helping out in the nursery during the Sunday school hour. I also started going to the Sunday evening service, Wednesday bible study and Grace on Campus (The college ministry) on Thursday's. I couldn't get enough of it (still can't really). I really began to love the people there and from the first day I went I felt like they really loved me too. I have never felt so welcome anywhere. They have taught me so much about the Word of God and what it really means to follow Christ for a life time.
On a side note, friends, if you haven't found a local bible-teaching church to be a part of. RUN, DON'T WALK to your nearest one! I cannot stress it enough how important it is. We college kids miss out on so much by avoiding being part of the body. Joining GBCT has been one of the best things I have ever done in my walk with God.
One unintended side effect of all this church going was I started to get to know this guy Kyle really well. I originally met Kyle at a Nav bowling social in the fall (the only reason I know that is cause that's how he said we met, I actually don't recall meeting him there at all). I saw him at GBCT the first time I went and I knew he lived in the dorm adjacent to mine. Putting two and two together, I commandeered him into giving me rides to church, as I didn't have a car! To be honest for the whole fall semester, I didn't think much of him. I thought to myself, he's a freshman, he's probably immature. He honestly didn't cross my mind at all. I actually made a point at the beginning of the spring semester to make sure he knew, in very clear words, that I was absolutely, positively NOT (as in never, ever going to be) interested in him. I felt very good about myself after that conversation actually. Needless to say, things changed very quickly. Within the first couple weeks of the semester I realized how wrong I had been to judge him. I remember walking away from each of our conversations amazed by his Love for God and dedication to scripture. Plus, I noticed how gracious and kind he was to everyone he met, no matter how they acted. I was singularly impressed. I ended up asking for his forgiveness for being so unkind when we first met. My heart towards him began to change very quickly.
About a month after our "let's just be friends" conversation. He asked me if I wanted to go get icecream after church. We had gone before as a group, but this time no one else was available to go. So it would be just me and him. I got MAD. I was thinking "seriously, why are you trying to hang out with me one on one? Do you think I'm some kind of easy girl that will just spend time with anyone?. See Sarah, this is what you get for talking to a guy, you should of just drove your own dang car to church. Gosh darn it, I don't want to be played with, GAHHH"
I didn't say anything the whole ride back to campus. When we got to Andros. Kyle asked me what was wrong. I thought about lying and never talking to him again. But, I figured he deserved the benefit of the doubt for giving me so many rides to church. So I told him the truth. I said "Kyle, I really like talking to you, but I'm really afraid that you're just playing with me and I really don't want that to happen." We got out ice cream in complete silence. Then he finally spoke. "Well Sarah, about what you said. I like you." At this point, I'm still mad, and I'm thinking "oh, so you think you can just tell me you like me and that makes everything cool, yeah right." So I shot back with "well what does that mean?". He then preceded to tell me why and that he had been waiting to tell me, but he decided to tell me now so I wouldn't think he was playing with me. Then I cried. Yea, pretty dramatic.
So we took a week to pray about and to talk with the Godly counsel in our lives. To be honest, I had made up my mind by the next morning, but I did wait to see what different people in my life had to say. So, that how Sarah Jo the ever persistent Navigator Never-dater ended up with a boyfriend. Believe me, it probably surprised me more then it surprised me.
Kyle has been such a blessing from the Lord. He has encouraged me so much to be more diligent in my disciplines, to fight sin with more vigor and to love God more. He is such a great leader. His character is what impresses me the most. I could go on and on about all the ways he has impacted my life.
If there's one thing I have learned from this experience is this: Ladies, don't let your personal preferences cause you to reject a Godly man without consideration for his character. Often times we put so much emphasis on the exterior and personality of a man without taking into account his character. The bible has standards for how a Godly man should live, if a man is doing that and he's interested in you, give him a chance. A Godly man is a rare find, don't forget that.
The other major change that has occurred this semester is I cut off my involvment with The Navs. It was a really difficult choice. I'd rather not go into all the reasons I decided to stop going. But, I am very thankful for my time with them and their impact on my life. I also got a job as a nanny for an agency. I really enjoy my work.
For spring break I went to Jamaica with the Honors College (similar to what I did in Panama last spring break). The trip was incredible. We went to this rural part of the south coast called Treaure Beach, about three hours from Montego Bay. We spent the whole week there doing community service. I spent three days assisting a medical team with a free clinic. I cannot begin to describe how incredible of an experience that was. I loved every minute of it. I got to shadow several different types of doctors. I learned so much.
One that has really developed in my heart this semester is a heart for adoption. Adoption has always been something I've wanted to do. I have met several families at Grace that have adopted children. Also, my pastor and his wife have been going through the process of adopting a little girl. Whenever I think about child not being loved, or being hurt or abandoned, my hurt just brakes. I just want to open my arms and say "I'll love you, I'll take care of you, even if nobody else wants you, I want you." I hope one day I will be able to put my dreams into action.
hmmm, other miscellaneous things. I had an ethics professor who was, shall we say, less then ethical...Uh, don't feel like talking about that now. I'm just glad its over.
So I start my first semester of the college of nursing May 16th. I'll be doing clinicals at University Community Hospital. Wish me luck! I am carrying 13 credits, plus doing clinicals, so I will be a busy bee this summer!
"So whether we are present or absent, we make it our aim to be well pleasing to him" 2 Corinthians 5:9
On Baptism
I am getting baptized tomorrow. I've waited a long time for this moment. These past two years walking with the Lord have been incredible. I'm still in awe of what Christ has done for me. It brings tears to my eyes to meditate on the atonement. This is where words fail me. How can I articulate the overwhelming gratitude in my heart? It is times like these that I wish I had command of a larger vocabulary. I want words to express my feelings, but there are none.
Christ is my Lord and Savior, Reedemer and Friend. He has rescued me from darkness and healed my broken heart. I want to spend forever with him, and he has promised me that one day I will!
Christ died for us. Such a simple, simple statement. But, Oh! The power of the truth behind those words. God the Son became man and lived a perfect life. Then at just the right time, he died for the ungodly. He died so that I, a wrathful rebellious enemy of God, could one day be drawn unto himself. I am justified by faith and have peace with God because he offered himself on the cross at Calvary. He took the full wrath of God for all my sins. In considering this, I loose my breath. I want to weep with gratitude. I was a slave to sin, in bondage to death. Now I am a slave of Christ, whose love brings life ever lasting.
Oh, the unsearchable love of Christ. Oh how I long to look upon his face and sing his praises forever.
"Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice:
“ Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”
And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying:
“ Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!”
Then the four living creatures said, “Amen!” And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshiped Him who lives forever and ever. ~ Revelation 5:11-14
Christ is my Lord and Savior, Reedemer and Friend. He has rescued me from darkness and healed my broken heart. I want to spend forever with him, and he has promised me that one day I will!
Christ died for us. Such a simple, simple statement. But, Oh! The power of the truth behind those words. God the Son became man and lived a perfect life. Then at just the right time, he died for the ungodly. He died so that I, a wrathful rebellious enemy of God, could one day be drawn unto himself. I am justified by faith and have peace with God because he offered himself on the cross at Calvary. He took the full wrath of God for all my sins. In considering this, I loose my breath. I want to weep with gratitude. I was a slave to sin, in bondage to death. Now I am a slave of Christ, whose love brings life ever lasting.
Oh, the unsearchable love of Christ. Oh how I long to look upon his face and sing his praises forever.
"Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice:
“ Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”
And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying:
“ Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!”
Then the four living creatures said, “Amen!” And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshiped Him who lives forever and ever. ~ Revelation 5:11-14
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thoughts on Blue Like Jazz
I recently picked up my copy of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller off my book shelf. I originally read the book in high school, before I came to know Jesus. If I remember correctly, it was a very popular book among the "christian" youth of my town. I recall reading it, liking it and assuming it was truth. It therefore heavily influenced my conception of God. I decided to reread it, because it has to come to my attention that I read a lot of books as an unbeliever and a new believer that may have been just plain heretical. So i've decided to go back and take a look at them to weed out the lies from the truth in my mind.
One a side note, there has been a lot of talk recently on the christian blog 0' sphere (is that a word? If it wasn't before it is now) about the emergent church, particularity Rob Bell. If you haven't been following the controversy surrounding Rob Bell and his new book Love Wins. I would suggest doing a little research. A good place to start would be John MacArthur's blog, he has been doing a series of posts on it. (Here's the link to the first one http://www.gty.org/Blog/B110412). (I will probably one day get around to writing about the emergent church and things like that)
Here are my thought's on Blue Like Jazz.
To put it bluntly, if you want to read a book to learn more about the character and nature of God, this is not the book for you. However, if you want to read a book about the inane quasi-spiritual musings of a man named Donald Miller, by all means be my guest.
If I was Donald Miller, I would have put a disclaimer on the front of Blue Like Jazz stating "it would be better for your spiritual state to read your Bible for 30 seconds then to read this book." In thinking that thought I would also like to add a disclaimer to this blog. "It would be better to read your bible for 1 minute then to spend any amount of time reading what I have to say." If there is one thing I have learned recently about what it means to walk with God it is this: your Bible is everything. Over and over I have been shown the supremacy of scripture.
Blue like jazz does not fall short necessarily for what it says, but for what it doesn't say. Never once in the book does mention the Holiness of God, or the wrath of God against unrepentant sinners. Presenting a gospel without these elements is to pervert the true gospel and to blaspheme the name of Christ.
An essential issue with this book is it's misrepresentation of the work of Christ. Jesus Christ, God-incarnate, did not come to earth to rescue the world from it's social justice issues. Jesus Christ came to rescue sinners from the judgment and wrath of an almighty God. Yes, Jesus cares about poverty. However, poverty isn't the root cause of the world's evils; sin is. The sin in me and the sin in you. Outside of Christ we are enemies with God. We are in rebellion and we cannot please God.
Another huge problem is Miller's rejection of the church. He completely throws the church under the bus. The Church is the Bride of Christ. He's got a thing for her and I wouldn't dis her if I were you (to quote Lecrae). As a new believer I can attest that it is almost impossible to grow without being involved in a Bible teaching Church where you can serve, be discipled and be disciplined. So many college students miss this. The Church and it's structure was designed by Christ. We miss out on so much growth by staying away. (I could right a whole post on this issue itself)
Miller's attitude towards sin in Blue Like Jazz is incredibly flippant. It's almost disgusting. If we could see our sins for what they are we would fall on our faces and weep. Which is what Isaiah did when he saw the Lord: Isaiah 6:1-5
"In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. 2 Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one cried to another and said:
“ Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory!”
4 And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.
5 So I said:
“ Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The LORD of hosts.”
The faith that this book presents is not a saving faith. It is not in line with historic Christianity. It does not support the Bible. To be blunt, the "gospel" this book presents is rather like a vaccine. It's a weakened form of the real thing that will inoculate an individual from ever receving the real thing. It's a useless waste of paper, good only for kindling.
Donald Miller's version of the good news, is really not good news at all. To him Jesus is just one more option, one more pathway to "living your best life now". These kinds of books are so deadly because they present lies wrapped up in truth. They sell half-truths to undiscerning people. Half truths that destroy them spiritually.
One a side note, there has been a lot of talk recently on the christian blog 0' sphere (is that a word? If it wasn't before it is now) about the emergent church, particularity Rob Bell. If you haven't been following the controversy surrounding Rob Bell and his new book Love Wins. I would suggest doing a little research. A good place to start would be John MacArthur's blog, he has been doing a series of posts on it. (Here's the link to the first one http://www.gty.org/Blog/B110412). (I will probably one day get around to writing about the emergent church and things like that)
Here are my thought's on Blue Like Jazz.
To put it bluntly, if you want to read a book to learn more about the character and nature of God, this is not the book for you. However, if you want to read a book about the inane quasi-spiritual musings of a man named Donald Miller, by all means be my guest.
If I was Donald Miller, I would have put a disclaimer on the front of Blue Like Jazz stating "it would be better for your spiritual state to read your Bible for 30 seconds then to read this book." In thinking that thought I would also like to add a disclaimer to this blog. "It would be better to read your bible for 1 minute then to spend any amount of time reading what I have to say." If there is one thing I have learned recently about what it means to walk with God it is this: your Bible is everything. Over and over I have been shown the supremacy of scripture.
Blue like jazz does not fall short necessarily for what it says, but for what it doesn't say. Never once in the book does mention the Holiness of God, or the wrath of God against unrepentant sinners. Presenting a gospel without these elements is to pervert the true gospel and to blaspheme the name of Christ.
An essential issue with this book is it's misrepresentation of the work of Christ. Jesus Christ, God-incarnate, did not come to earth to rescue the world from it's social justice issues. Jesus Christ came to rescue sinners from the judgment and wrath of an almighty God. Yes, Jesus cares about poverty. However, poverty isn't the root cause of the world's evils; sin is. The sin in me and the sin in you. Outside of Christ we are enemies with God. We are in rebellion and we cannot please God.
Another huge problem is Miller's rejection of the church. He completely throws the church under the bus. The Church is the Bride of Christ. He's got a thing for her and I wouldn't dis her if I were you (to quote Lecrae). As a new believer I can attest that it is almost impossible to grow without being involved in a Bible teaching Church where you can serve, be discipled and be disciplined. So many college students miss this. The Church and it's structure was designed by Christ. We miss out on so much growth by staying away. (I could right a whole post on this issue itself)
Miller's attitude towards sin in Blue Like Jazz is incredibly flippant. It's almost disgusting. If we could see our sins for what they are we would fall on our faces and weep. Which is what Isaiah did when he saw the Lord: Isaiah 6:1-5
"In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. 2 Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one cried to another and said:
“ Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory!”
4 And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.
5 So I said:
“ Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The LORD of hosts.”
The faith that this book presents is not a saving faith. It is not in line with historic Christianity. It does not support the Bible. To be blunt, the "gospel" this book presents is rather like a vaccine. It's a weakened form of the real thing that will inoculate an individual from ever receving the real thing. It's a useless waste of paper, good only for kindling.
Donald Miller's version of the good news, is really not good news at all. To him Jesus is just one more option, one more pathway to "living your best life now". These kinds of books are so deadly because they present lies wrapped up in truth. They sell half-truths to undiscerning people. Half truths that destroy them spiritually.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Living Will
I had to write a living will for my biomedical ethics class. To be honest, it was really difficult. It was also depressing. I struggled through a lot of the ethical implications of what I was saying. For real, this is the third assignment about my death I've had to do for a class. There's nothing like thinking about your mortality to get your priorities in line. On the one hand, I realize that in my mind I say to myself that I'm not afraid of death and that I welcome the chance to go and be with Christ, but at the same time I am REALLY attached to the life I've got going down here on earth. But, one thing I've really been thinking about is remembering to keep my eyes focused on the goal. Focused towards heaven, focused on eternity. It definitely helps me not to stress out. I have no idea where I'm living this summer or how I'm going to pay for it. This has been really stressing me out, but as soon as I get my head on straight and remember that I am a daughter or The King who owns everything and that I have eternal security for my salvation, I worry a lot less. Funny how that works, isn't it?
By the way, I'm currently reading Desiring God by John Piper (it's pretty good, I would definitely recommend it to anyone). It's awesome so far! Check it out.
By the way, I'm currently reading Desiring God by John Piper (it's pretty good, I would definitely recommend it to anyone). It's awesome so far! Check it out.
Living Will of Sarah Jo Spears
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die…”
~Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Declaration made this 11th day of February 2010. I, Sarah Jo Spears am a child of God by the grace of God, through the sole merit of the atoning blood of the Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior. I have received the gift of salvation by faith. I believe that God is sovereign and has ordained my every breath and heart beat. I am of the firm conviction that each and every life is created by God and therefore sacred. In light of this it is my desire to make known my wishes for my care in a terminal state. I am defining a terminal state as a state of coma (with a GCS of 8 or less), persistent vegetative state, or brain death.
It is my will to designate a healthcare surrogate. My healthcare surrogates are my parents, Laura and Terry Spears. In the event that my parents are incapacitated, my sister Jennifer Lykins will serve as surrogate. I reserve the right for my healthcare surrogates to make decisions on my behalf that go contrary to this document. I understand that is impossible to predict every possible situation, therefore in the event that I am mentally incapacitated my healthcare surrogates have the ultimate say in which treatments I receive or do not receive.
When I leave behind this mortal “flesh”, this “tent” I shall exchange it for “a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” (2 Corinthians 5:1-6). Death has been defeated and reins in me no more, yet I consider myself to be already dead, but alive in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:12-13, Ephesians 2:4-9). To be absent from this body and to be present with my Lord in eternity is no loss, but a great gain (Philippians 1:21-25). Therefore, while I do not seek death, I do not desire to unnecessarily prolong the inevitable. This living will may never be used to promote euthanasia, active or passive. No measures should ever be taken to cause death, nor be taken purely to end suffering. Suffering is ordained and will be endured by the grace of God. I have placed my total trust in the Lord God with this mortal body and with my eternal spirit.
It is my will that I never be placed on a ventilator. All other decisions are left to my healthcare surrogates.
If you are reading this document and do not know what will happen to you when you die, let me declare to you that assurance is possible. The Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, who is the first and the last, the holiest of holies has created a way for you to come into his presence. We, who are sinful from the day of our birth, deserve nothing but judgment (Romans 3:10-23). However, God in order to show the brightness of his glory, sent his only son to make a propitiation (an atonement) for our sins (Hebrews 1:1-3, Romans 3:24-26, Romans 6:23) and save us from the wrath of God (Romans 1:18, 5:9). Jesus Christ came to earth, being fully man and fully God and lived a sinless life. He was then was crucified unto death (Romans 5:6-9). He, then having been buried, rose to life again on the third day, as was prophesized in the scriptures. This was planned from the beginning of time so that He could bring us to God (1 Peter 3:18). I beg you, if you have not trusted in Christ as your savior, do not harden you heart. Salvation is a gift of God, free to all who believe, by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9, John 1:9-14). Lay down your rebellion and your pride, repent and turn to Jesus.
“So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.
“O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”
~ 1 Corinthians 15:54-55
All glory to Him forever and ever, amen!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Where I'm at
As I am drawing near to the two year anniversary to the beginning of my walk with God, a curious transformation is taking place in my heart and mind. I used to believe, even after I was saved, that the point of my salvation, the purpose of my life was to strive after moral perfection (with the help of Jesus of course), but mostly the responsibility for success was mine. I tried and I tried to reach my standards that I had set for myself. I even had a measure of success for a while, but then I failed. EPICALLY.
It was bad, real bad. For months on end I couldn't tell up from down. I felt like God abandoned me, I felt like I wasn't saved, I was mad at God, I was mad at myself.
But now I see that far from reaching an understanding of God, I just am beginning to start to realize just how vast is the mystery of Christ and Him crucified.
An excerpt from a book by Walter Marshall, (a puritan from the 1600's) that is chillingly accurately in its description of what I went through.
"If these legal zealots be forced by strong conviction to endeavour the practice of spiritual duties for the quieting of their guilty consciences, they may be brought to strive and labour earnestly, and even to macerate their bodies with fasting, that they may kill their lusts; but still their lusts are alive, and as strong as ever they were, and do show forth their enmity against the law of God by inward fretting, repining and grudging at it, as a grievous taskmaster, though a slavish fear restrain their gross outward actings. And, if once these zealots are enlightened with the knowledge of the spiritual nature of the law to discern that God rejects all their slavish service, and will not own it for sincere obedience, then they fall into despair of their salvation, because they see they have failed in their highest attempts to perform the condition, and they can easily discover themselves, that their hearts swell in anger and manifest hatred against the law, yea, and against God and Christ, for prescribing such hard conditions of salvation, which they cannot keep, and yet must expect to be damned eternally for breaking them. This fills them with blasphemous thoughts against God and Christ, and they can hardly refrain from blaspheming with their tongues. And when they are brought to this horrible condition, if God does not in mercy discover to them the way of salvation by free grace, through faith alone, they will endeavour, if they can, to sear their consciences past feeling of sin, and fully to abandon all religion, which has proved such an insufferable torment to them, or, if they cannot sear their consciences, some of them are easily prevailed with by Satan, rather to murder themselves than to live longer in the hatred of God, the spirit of blasphemy and continual horror of conscience.
This is the pestilent effect of legal doctrine upon a carnal heart, that does but rouse up and terribly enrage the sleeping lion, our sinful corruption, instead of killing it - as is too evident by the sad experience of many that have endeavoured with all their might to practice it, and by the Scripture, that shows a sufficient cause why it cannot be otherwise. Therefore, the doctrine of salvation by sincere obedience, that was invented against Antinomianism, may well be ranked among the worst Antinomian errors. For my part, I hate it with perfect hatred, and account it mine enemy, as I have found it to be. And I have found by some good experience the truth of the lesson taught by the apostle, that the way to be freed from the mastery and dominion of sin is not to be under the law, but under grace (Rom. 6:14)."-Walter Marshall, the Gospel Mystery of Sanctification.
It was bad, real bad. For months on end I couldn't tell up from down. I felt like God abandoned me, I felt like I wasn't saved, I was mad at God, I was mad at myself.
But now I see that far from reaching an understanding of God, I just am beginning to start to realize just how vast is the mystery of Christ and Him crucified.
An excerpt from a book by Walter Marshall, (a puritan from the 1600's) that is chillingly accurately in its description of what I went through.
"If these legal zealots be forced by strong conviction to endeavour the practice of spiritual duties for the quieting of their guilty consciences, they may be brought to strive and labour earnestly, and even to macerate their bodies with fasting, that they may kill their lusts; but still their lusts are alive, and as strong as ever they were, and do show forth their enmity against the law of God by inward fretting, repining and grudging at it, as a grievous taskmaster, though a slavish fear restrain their gross outward actings. And, if once these zealots are enlightened with the knowledge of the spiritual nature of the law to discern that God rejects all their slavish service, and will not own it for sincere obedience, then they fall into despair of their salvation, because they see they have failed in their highest attempts to perform the condition, and they can easily discover themselves, that their hearts swell in anger and manifest hatred against the law, yea, and against God and Christ, for prescribing such hard conditions of salvation, which they cannot keep, and yet must expect to be damned eternally for breaking them. This fills them with blasphemous thoughts against God and Christ, and they can hardly refrain from blaspheming with their tongues. And when they are brought to this horrible condition, if God does not in mercy discover to them the way of salvation by free grace, through faith alone, they will endeavour, if they can, to sear their consciences past feeling of sin, and fully to abandon all religion, which has proved such an insufferable torment to them, or, if they cannot sear their consciences, some of them are easily prevailed with by Satan, rather to murder themselves than to live longer in the hatred of God, the spirit of blasphemy and continual horror of conscience.
This is the pestilent effect of legal doctrine upon a carnal heart, that does but rouse up and terribly enrage the sleeping lion, our sinful corruption, instead of killing it - as is too evident by the sad experience of many that have endeavoured with all their might to practice it, and by the Scripture, that shows a sufficient cause why it cannot be otherwise. Therefore, the doctrine of salvation by sincere obedience, that was invented against Antinomianism, may well be ranked among the worst Antinomian errors. For my part, I hate it with perfect hatred, and account it mine enemy, as I have found it to be. And I have found by some good experience the truth of the lesson taught by the apostle, that the way to be freed from the mastery and dominion of sin is not to be under the law, but under grace (Rom. 6:14)."-Walter Marshall, the Gospel Mystery of Sanctification.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Moral Outcry
My conscience will no longer allow me to remain silent. I have ignored this issue for far too long. I have allowed myself to look the other way for the sake of politeness and social ease. But no more.
We, as Christian's in America are allowing genocide to occur in this country. The genocide of the unborn became legal in this country in 1973.
As I research different views on abortion, I keep coming across this idea that we should not "force" our "opinions" on people. This argument is the most widespread piece of nonsense I have ever encountered. Frankly, it is an absolutely ridiculous, baseless, pointless argument that we have sucked up because we think it makes us sound tolerant. The American legal system is based on the rule of law. The government is of the "opinion" that running stop lights is dangerous, and they "force" this opinion on the American populace by issuing tickets to those who "choose" to break the law. Should we no longer enforce the law because people should be "free" to do what they wish. Obviously, how could I presume to know what is "right" for someone else? If people want to run red lights, well who am I to "force" my opinion and stop them. I can't make other people's decisions for them, perish the thought that I try to legislate morality or anything of that nature.
Is there not anything that is always wrong, 100% of the time? Has every American's sense of morality become situational? I will tell you, there are things that are always wrong. Incest, rape, murder, to name a few. Reality is not relative.
I don't have the time or the wherewithal to defend against every anti-life (pro-choice) argument. The truth is, there are plenty of other people who have and have done a much better job then I ever could.
But, I will say this. We as Christians need to raise a moral outcry so loud that it shakes the supreme court to its very foundations. We can no longer afford to remain silent and polite while children are being slaughtered in our midst. I am as guilty as the next. I, for far to long have ignored the conviction of the Holy Spirit regarding this issue. I have been a coward and I have been lazy, preferring to keep quiet to keep the peace. But NO MORE!
Some of you may have heard of Diedrich Bonhoeffer, most of you probably haven't. He was a German pastor who took a stand against the Nazi's. He refused to submit when the Nazis invaded the church in Germany. He refused to remain silent whilst they instituted pogroms against the Jews. He fought valiantly in the face of insurmountable evil. Eventually it cost him his life. He he said this,
http://bound4life.com/
http://bound4life.com/blog
We, as Christian's in America are allowing genocide to occur in this country. The genocide of the unborn became legal in this country in 1973.
As I research different views on abortion, I keep coming across this idea that we should not "force" our "opinions" on people. This argument is the most widespread piece of nonsense I have ever encountered. Frankly, it is an absolutely ridiculous, baseless, pointless argument that we have sucked up because we think it makes us sound tolerant. The American legal system is based on the rule of law. The government is of the "opinion" that running stop lights is dangerous, and they "force" this opinion on the American populace by issuing tickets to those who "choose" to break the law. Should we no longer enforce the law because people should be "free" to do what they wish. Obviously, how could I presume to know what is "right" for someone else? If people want to run red lights, well who am I to "force" my opinion and stop them. I can't make other people's decisions for them, perish the thought that I try to legislate morality or anything of that nature.
Is there not anything that is always wrong, 100% of the time? Has every American's sense of morality become situational? I will tell you, there are things that are always wrong. Incest, rape, murder, to name a few. Reality is not relative.
I don't have the time or the wherewithal to defend against every anti-life (pro-choice) argument. The truth is, there are plenty of other people who have and have done a much better job then I ever could.
But, I will say this. We as Christians need to raise a moral outcry so loud that it shakes the supreme court to its very foundations. We can no longer afford to remain silent and polite while children are being slaughtered in our midst. I am as guilty as the next. I, for far to long have ignored the conviction of the Holy Spirit regarding this issue. I have been a coward and I have been lazy, preferring to keep quiet to keep the peace. But NO MORE!
Some of you may have heard of Diedrich Bonhoeffer, most of you probably haven't. He was a German pastor who took a stand against the Nazi's. He refused to submit when the Nazis invaded the church in Germany. He refused to remain silent whilst they instituted pogroms against the Jews. He fought valiantly in the face of insurmountable evil. Eventually it cost him his life. He he said this,
"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act."
Amen Brother, Amenhttp://bound4life.com/
http://bound4life.com/blog
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