The CV Chronicles: Week 7

This week I faced Monday morning prepared for battle. I was armed to the teeth with tissues, ibuprofen and dark chocolate, ready to endure what I expected to be week long siege of my cabin by very tiny, very destructive militants (sometimes referred to as 'children.') I had heard horror stories from returning staff about the week 7 slump. I was utterly convinced that this week was going to be terrible. I awoke Monday morning feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually drained. To make matters worse, I was coming out of a weekend of battling sin and doubt. I wasn't sure how I could go on. I thought 'How am I supposed to love these kids and show them Christ when I really just want to go find a hole and crawl in it till it's time for me to go back to Tampa?'

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10~

However, God, in his mercy, had other plans (You think I would learn to stop being surprised when this happens, for real). I had a GREAT week. I think I will show you rather then just tell you (A pictures worth a thousand words right?) One of my campers prayed to receive Christ on Friday night. How cool is it that I get to be a part of that?

A note my campers left me on Saturday morning. They are so darn cute, even when they can't spell my name right.

 

My little sheep! We won honor cabin every single day this week.

 

New barefoot running shoes, they are seriously the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned 

This is what an honor cabin looks like. 

That's what I'm talking about. 

Working the rock wall is probably my favorite activity at camp. I love playing around and challenging myself to try new routes.

Moments like this are why I am a camp counselor. 

This is the view from the ball field I get to enjoy every single day during evening games. It's so beautiful, photos don't do it justice. It is a constant reminder of the beauty of our maker and His everlasting love for me.

 

Getting ready for the sponge relay. 

 

The water was so cold!

Every Friday night we have an outdoor service. We do skits for the kids, watch a highlights video, then we have songs, a message and a testimony time.

This has been the best summer of my life. Seriously. I love this place.

USF Senior Year Bucket List

I was inspired by a friend of mine to create a senior year bucket list. I'm so excited that I'm a senior this year. I' really looking forward to what the Lord is going to do this year. I plan to keep adding to this list until school starts. Feel free to give me suggestions!

Senior Year Bucket List

1. Canoe at River Front Park
2. Do the High Ropes course
3. Frisbee golf at River Front Park
4. Watch an IMAX movie at MOSI
5. Eat dinner and watch the sunset on top of the beard parking garage
6. Swim in the MLK fountain
7. Take Cap and Gown picture sitting on the bulls by the MSC
8. Feed the ducks by J-pop
9. Go to a USF dance and band performance
10. Watch a game and eat at Beef O Brady's
11. Go to vertical ventures
12. Eat at Tacobus
13. Go to a USF football, soccer, baseball and volleyball game. 
14. Go swing dancing at Zenda Grotto
15. Learn ASL for Romans
16. Learn to ride a unicycle
17. Take a picture with Rocky
18. Eat at OTP

The CV Chronicles: My Heart For Missions

"How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!"

~Romans 10:14-15~

This summer has been instrumental in deepening my understanding of missions. I have been so blessed this summer to meet full time missionaries from all over the world. I've met missionaries from places as exotic as Africa to as domestic as Birmingham. Yet no matter what the location these people are joyfully serving God and reaching the unreached. Through many presentations and conversations my heart has been moving from "I would like to do missions" to "I MUST do missions". I have seen the need. I have heard their cries. I can no longer deny the burden in my heart. How could I live the rest of my life here in the safety of America, while millions of people pass into eternity without Christ.

The itch began, as do most of my passions, with a book. Over the past few years I've read many biographies of the great missionaries of the last two centuries: Jim and Elizabeth Elliot, Gladys Alwyard, Amy Carmichael, Eric Liddell. The list goes on and on. I have been inspired by their faith and their commitment to their convictions. I am humbled by their profound humility and reliance on the Lord.  


I do not know what the Lord has in store for me in the future. I always tell myself, tongue-in-cheek, that I might die of an aneurism tomorrow, so I shouldn't get too caught up in my plans. But, I pray that God would allow me to see the realization of my dream. To take the gospel to a people who have not heard it before. 

To those who would decry my dream because it isn't safe. I would reply: Of course it isn't safe! But, what is safety? I'll tell you what safety is: Safety is at best, an illusion and at worst, a prison. What's the point of trying to live a safe life? Your body is actively decaying. It's like trying to shine a rotten apple. Now I'm not talking about being foolish, I'm talking about making moves for the Gospel that might cost you something. In some situations it might cost you a relationship, or even your job; in other situations, it may cost you your very life. Listen brethren, if we value personal safety over the advancement of the kingdom, we are mistaken. Why are we so content to let our lives quietly slip through our fingers like grains of sand? Contentedly building our little towers of self-indulgence, when every single day countless souls enter the gates of Hell without even once hearing the name of Christ? To quote one of my favorite preachers Paul Washer "Go out there and die!" 
 

The children here at CV have no idea how truly blessed they are to be hearing what they are hearing. How many thousands of souls pass to the grave every day without ever even hearing the name of Christ! How many people groups have no national gospel witness? Christ must be proclaimed to all the nations, like John Piper says “missions exists because worship doesn’t".  These people were made to worship the God who made them, but they walk in darkness. Let us go and preach the gospel to them! What do we have to fear?  Hasn’t God told us “do not fear him who can kill the body and afterwards do no more, but fear Him who after he has killed the body can cast both body and soul into hell. I say fear Him” What can man do to me? I am praying that I have ‘beautiful feet’


There is a well worn groove in the back of my mind from countless days and nights of mental pacing. I continually question myself: What is the gospel worth to me? 


I want to know if my life will match what I say that I believe. I want to put feet to my speech, so to speak.  


In so many ways, I speak in complete ignorance. Some are of the opinion that is is best then to keep quiet. I, however, am of the opinion that the only way to have my ignorance corrected and my thought processes refined is to take the time to hash out my worldview and have it subsequently critiqued. I heartily welcome the criticism of my brothers and sisters in Christ.


Is not the God who gave His all, worthy of my all? What shall I withhold from the Lord my God? 

The CV Chronicles: Begone Unbelief

“Lord I believe, help my unbelief!”

~Mark 9:24~ 

If you know anything about me, you know I love hymns. My love for hymns began at the time of my salvation. I am frequently given odd looks at USF because I walk around constantly singing to myself, and 9 times out of 10 I am singing a hymn. I love how encouraging and edifying they are. 

Yesterday, unbelief settled like a dark cloud in my heart and followed after me all the day, I couldn't seem to shake it. As I have grown in Christ, satan no longer tempts me to doubt the existence of God, but he does frequently tempt me to doubt the goodness of God. This hymn comforted me in my trial.

Begone, unbelief,
  My Savior is near,
And for my relief
  Will surely appear;
By prayer let me wrestle,
  And He will perform;
With Christ in the vessel,
  I smile at the storm. 

I look at my campers, my little sheep, and I think, what can I do to help them? Some of them have been abused, some of them come from broken homes, some of them are false converts. What can I do to help them? All I have is one week with them. But, the truth is, I CAN'T do anything. But God can do anything!

How frequently do I cry out in prayer in desperation at my own lack of faith. I doubt the Lord so much, I disgust myself. I doubt His love, I doubt that He will work, I doubt His care. I hate it, I hate it I hate it. Why so frequently do my emotions not match my understanding? I know that the Lord loves me yet I still doubt. "OH WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM, WHO WILL DELIVER ME FROM THIS BODY OF DEATH"

 Though dark be my way,
  Since He is my Guide,
'Tis mine to obey,
  'Tis His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken,
  And creatures all fail,
The word He hath spoken
  Shall surely prevail.

I persistently struggle with desiring the approval of other Christians. Non-believers opinions don’t tend to affect me because, from my point of view, they are not evaluating me on God’s standards. However, believers, in my mind, are. So I take their opinion on the level of God’s. Which is so irrational, it hardly requires explanation. If I feel like brother or a sister disapproves of me, it shakes me up.

Why should I complain
  Of want or distress,
Temptation or pain?
  He told me no less;
The heirs of salvation,
  I know from His Word,
Through much tribulation
  Must follow their Lord.

Since all that I meet
  Shall work for my good,
The bitter is sweet,
  The medicine, food;
Though painful at present,
  'Twill cease before long,
And then, oh, how pleasant
  The conqueror's song!
 

Last night we had our own little CV 4th of July celebration. One of our staff has an air cannon that He uses to shoot glow sticks in the air. It's pretty cool. So we shot off glow sticks and let the campers catch them. While we were waiting for our turn, I set my little campers down and as I looked down at them my heart was filled with compassion and love for them. I love these little guys, I would do anything for them. They're my little sheep, almost entirely helpless. But you know what? I don't mind at all. I don't mind that they ask me the same thousand questions everyday, and loose everything, and spill their drinks at every meal and wake me up at 4am because they are scared. I love them.

I think God uses moments like this to show me how much He loves me. If I can have this much love, being the wretched sinner that I am, and these not even my own children, how much does He love me, His daughter?

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" 

~ Romans 8:32~

What a weak vessel I am.

But what a strong savior is my God!