Soul Depths

"Beloved, when first you found the Savior, you imagined that the warfare had ceased, that the victory was won, and that, henceforth, your Christian course would be a continuous triumph over every foe, your path to heaven smooth and cloudless, until lost in perfect day! But your real growth in grace is the measure of your growing acquaintance with yourself. A deeper knowledge of your sinfulness, a more intimate acquaintance with the subterfuges of your own heart, has changed your paean of triumph into well-near a wail of despair; has hurled you as from the pinnacle to the base of the mount; and from the base, into a “depth” yet deeper you never supposed to exist, and out of which— the “slough of despond”—  your cry of agony ascends to God. 
 But, deem not your case a solitary one; nor be surprised, as though some strange thing had happened unto you. Such “depths” have all the saints. All are taught in this school; all are brought into the region of their own heart, where their holiest and most experimental lessons are learned. Let not, then, the existence, sight, and conflict of the indwelling of sin plunge you in despair; rather, accept it as an unmistakable evidence of your possession of the divine nature, of the living water welled in your soul- the existence and warfare of which have but revealed to you the counter existence and antagonism of the latent and deep-seated evil of your heart."

~Octavius Winslow on Psalm 130~

What I love about blogging

What I love about reading blogs:

First of all, it's like joining a global conversation. It's so enriching to hear all the different perspectives on issues. I love to study theology and then I love to see how it gets applied to real world situations. I'm no pragmatist, but I do love to see theology fleshed out and in action. Jesus is alive! We do not serve a dead God or an indifferent one. The words of Jesus are just as applicable today as they were when they were penned. Secondly, I think it's important for a Christian to be abreast of current societal issues and trends in thought. Blogs make that simple.

What I love about writing blogs:

Though blogging has a reputation for being a self-glorifying practice, I truly believe that it can be a God glorifying activity. No matter what topic I start writing about, I end up writing about the Gospel. It is my aim in this blog to show how Christ is supreme in all areas of life. Furthermore, I appreciate the chance to stretch my mental muscles. My degree requires a lot of critical thinking, but not a lot of critical analysis in writing. I miss the challenge of written communication. I've come to realize that writing is one of those skills that's gets real rusty, real quick if left unemployed. Also, sadly even when I was required to submit papers, the standards were such that I could submit work of poor quality and still receive top marks. However, putting my writting up on the internet forces me to push myself to produce quality product. Additionally, theologically, it forces me to succinctly hash out my views in a way that is both truthful and loving. 

A few recommended blogs:
The Gospel Coalition
Albert Mohler
Desiring God
Water Gate
Kevin Deyoung

The New Scar on My Soul

You need to read this article. Now.  

Here is an excerpt:
"But let nobody fool you.  It is not painless for the child, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.  Abortion is not an excision of a featureless bunch of cells; it is infanticide.  We have revived the practice of child sacrifice to the new deities of casual sex and convenience.  We rationalize the reality of murder by altering our perspective of the nascent life through euphemisms like "fetus" or descriptions of "a clump of cells"...just like the Nazis convinced themselves that the people screaming as they were shot or gassed were "Untermenchen," subhuman, and therefore guiltlessly exterminated..."  


I was truly moved to tears while reading this article. I pray that this man finds true repentance and forgiveness in Jesus Christ.

Church Membership

Editors note: I originally wrote this post as a facebook note. It's purpose was to further develop some of the ideas that I had presented in conversations with my friends about the importance of being a member of a church. 

Friends,

Over the past few months I have had the opportunity to talk with many of you about the scriptural basis for church membership and my experience in becoming a member of a local body, Grace Bible Church of Tampa (GBCT). I wanted to take a moment to elaborate on the scriptural basis for the things I’ve been saying.

Q: Why is Sarah Jo so crazy about this whole church thing? 

A: Because becoming a member of GBC has transformed my walk with the Lord. For the sake of your eternal soul, please take the time to look up the Scriptures I reference and meditate on them. Do not be fooled by worldly logic or your own feelings and opinions. It is not a matter of conviction. Church membership is a command, and if we fear the Lord we shouldn't ignore it. Commitment to a local church is an assumption of the New Testament writers. It's not a matter of Christian freedom; it's a matter of obedience.

Ideas to consider:  

1) Jesus died for the church. He established it to be an earthly institution that would make a clear distinction between who is with Christ and who is not. If you are not in a church, how do you know that you are a Christian?

2) Scripture constantly commands Christians to submit to their elders/pastors. How can this happen when you are not a member of a local church? 

Scriptures to consider:

Christ is the head of the church. The church is his bride and his body, and he bought it with his own blood (Colossians 1:18, Ephesians 5:23, 1:22-23 and Acts 20:28).

Christ promised to build his church (Matthew 16:18).

Q: Well, my parachurch ministry (Navs, Cru, Intervarsity etc.) is like a church. Isn't that good enough? 

A: While it may be LIKE a church, it is NOT a church. For the following reasons:

• They don’t claim to be a church, nor do their leaders claim to be God-appointed elders or deacons. That should be enough evidence in and of itself.  
• They do not have church structure as defined by Scripture (i.e. God-appointed elders and deacons). 
• They don’t practice church discipline. When was the last time you heard of someone getting excommunicated from a parachurch ministry?  
• They do not administer the sacraments (Baptism and Communion).

Please NOTE: I am not saying parachurch ministries are evil, or you’re sinning by attending. However, I am saying that if you are not committing yourself to a local church, then you are disobeying God.

Q: But aren’t all believers “the church” when we get together and fellowship? 

A: Yes and no. Yes, all believers are a part of the universal church. The universal church includes all believers at all times. However, membership in and commitment to a local church is necessary. Christ ordained that there would be physical, visible local churches that have physical, visible government (i.e. elders and deacons).

Scriptures to consider:

• Christ set up specific God-ordained offices in his church (1 Corinthians 12:28).
• The elders were ordained by God to govern and shepherd us, keeping us away from false doctrine and guarding our souls from sin (1 Tim 5:17).
• Elders will give an account to God for how they fulfilled their ministry toward the members of their local church (Hebrews 13:17).
• They were also given the responsibility of praying and teaching the Word and defending sound doctrine (Titus 1:9; Acts 6).
• Qualifications for elders (1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:6-9).
• The church is responsible for administering the sacraments: baptism and communion (1Corinthians 11:17-33)
• The church conducts church discipline (Matthew 18:15-17).
• We can see that in the Scriptures Christ ordained a structure and order to the church. All of the epistles of the New Testament were written to instruct the local churches.
• We're commanded to submit to our elders, and our elders are commanded to shepherd us. (1 Peter 5:1-5, Hebrews 13:17). This is not optional.
• We're given spiritual gifts to serve the church (1 Peter 4:10-11; Ephesians 4:11-16)

This is just a beginning of what the Bible has to say about the church.

A few songs on the subject:
Stephen The Levite - Church Membership

Lecrae - The Church
Lecrae - The Bride 

For further reading: 

John Piper

How Important is Church Membership? (Sermon)
Is Church Membership Important? (Ask Pastor John)

9 Marks            

Why Should Every Christian Join A Church?

Other Reasons To Join A Church

What are the 9 Marks of a Healthy Church?

.

Dear Emily

This is my response to an editorial appearing in Slate magazine's DoubleX section.  You can read the editorial here.

Dear Emily,

First and foremost, I would like to express the deep sorrow I felt for you after reading your essay. My heart breaks for the suffering you and your child are experiencing. I cannot begin to comprehend the inexpressible grief you must be feeling. To watch your child suffer in such a terrible way is truly horrific. You have my deepest sympathies. I know that your current circumstance may appear hopeless. You know your son is going to die, and you can't stop it. You don't know when, but you do know that it will be excruciatingly painful. To be in your shoes and live daily with this knowledge is incomprehensible.

In spite of all of that, I would like to offer you hope. Real hope. Hope that lasts and hope that heals. My aim is to encourage you and shine a light into the darkness. I also would like to gently examine some of your presuppositions about suffering, so that you will reconsider some of your statements. Most of all, I would like to point you to the only Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. 

First the Hope,

1. Ronan's suffering is not senseless.

Emily, as hard as this may be to understand, your son was born with Tay-sachs for a reason. The Bible makes it very clear that God is in control of suffering. He is sovereign. The LORD said to Moses “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?" (Exodus 4:11). Many people struggle to understand this. How can a loving God cause suffering? There are many truths about the nature of suffering that I could discuss. However, since others have already done it (and done it better than I could), I will just refer you to them. But, I will leave you with these glorious truths: God has promised us that He is working all things out for the good of those who love God (Romans 8:28). God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should repent (Numbers 23:19). He will bring to pass everything that He has promised His children.

Your story makes me think of another disabled child. His story is recorded in John 9. This man was also blind, like your son. We are told that He was blind since birth. When Jesus disciples saw the man they asked Him "Who sinned that this man was born blind? Him or his parents?" Jesus replied "Neither he nor his parents sinned, but he was born blind so that the works of God might be done in him." I bet if you could ask that man, he would tell you that an entire lifetime of blindness was completely worth the surpassing privilege of being the vessel of God's mercy. 

Sometimes the hardest part of enduring suffering is not having an answer to the question "why?". The mental anguish of uncertainty can be horrendous. Sometimes there is a very clear cause to our suffering, but many times there is not. But, no matter what happens to us we must never forget to look to Christ.

2. God cares about Ronan's suffering

We must never forget that no matter how severe our anguish or how unjust our circumstances, it will never compare to the anguish and injustice of the cross. Jesus Christ was the only person that has ever lived a sinless life. Yet, He chose to bear the reproach of the the cross, for us, ungodly sinners who hated Him (Romans 5:6-9, John 3:16; 1Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:4-6).

The book of Hebrews informs us that "we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need". 

Additionally, the book of Colossians 1:15 tells us that 'Jesus Christ is the image of the invisible God', and Hebrews 1:3 that 'the Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being.' So we know that in examining the heart of Christ, we are getting a glimpse of the heart of the eternal Father. Throughout Jesus' earthly ministry, we see Him healing the sick (who sometimes don't even bother to thank him, Luke 17:11-17). The Gospel of Matthew tells us that when Jesus saw the multitudes who were weary and scattered like sheep without a shepherd, He was moved with compassion (Matthew 9:36). We see again and again in the Bible that Jesus has a heart for the poor, for children, for the suffering. God is not indifferent to the sufferings of the people of this world.



3. Though his body may be broken in this world, it will not be so in the next.

The truth is, the Lord may not choose to heal your son's disease in this life, but He has promised to heal all diseases in the next. We know from the Bible that sin entered the world through Adam "Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—" (Romans 5:12) and that even the whole creation is subject to bondage because of man's sin. "For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now." (Romans 8:19-22).

However, God has not given up on His creation. He has not abandoned us. God promises that one day He will return and set all things right again. There will be a new heaven and a new earth. He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death (Revelation 21:4).

In 1 Corinthians 15, the Holy Spirit, through the apostle Paul, describes the resurrection of the dead.

"But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.  But each in turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

And later in the same chapter: 

"For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
      “Where, O death, is your victory?
        Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 


Now, I have a few things I would like you to consider regarding your presuppositions about the nature of suffering.

1. Quality of life is indeterminable.

By what standards are we to judge what makes a life worth living? Some would say that living with a severe mental impairment would be unbearable, yet I have met many severely disabled children who are thankful for every breath they have been given.


Can your son understand the words that you say? Maybe not. Can your son understand that you love him when you hold him in your arms? Maybe yes. It's impossible for us to know how much a person understands. Therefore, you can have hope that when you cradle your son in your arms, he knows that his mommy loves him more than all the world. Your son may not have the length of life of most people, and he may not be able to do the things that other children do. But, that doesn't mean his life is completely devoid of any meaning. Your sweet little boy is a gift from the Lord to be treasured and loved for as long as the Lord allows you to have him.

2. You can't "save" your child from suffering.

Your desire to spare your child as much suffering as possible is natural and right. Mommies want to protect their children. We want to be our babies' heroes. We hurt when they hurt; their suffering is our suffering. But, ultimately, we are not in control of our child's fate. At the end of the day, even perfectly physically healthy people suffer in unimaginable ways, yet we do not say that it would be better if they had not been born. Suffering goes hand in hand with living. To live a life avoiding suffering is to never really live at all.

To quote C.S. Lewis:

" To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

3. Is it really merciful to kill those who are suffering?

There is much I would like to say about this; however, that will have to wait for another day. Instead, I would like for you to consider the following question: What if suffering serves a greater purpose than we can see?

4. Prenatal testing gives false positives.

It is true that the information pre-natal testing provides is neither moral not amoral. It's what we do with the information that brings about a moral or immoral act. However, one CANNOT know in advance how a child's life will be based on prenatal testing.

Furthermore, while I do not intend to write an pro-life apologetic here (that's a topic for another post), I would like to point out that abortion always involves three people: the mother, the doctor, and the unborn child. We know from a purely scientific perspective that human life begins at conception. Abortion, no matter what the circumstances, always involves the killing of an innocent human being. As the saying goes, "Your right to swing your arms freely, stops at the other person's nose." A mother never has the right to take the life of her unborn child, end of story.

Furthermore, the capacity to end pregnancies at will does not make us more fully human, it makes us less than human. 

5. Pregnancy is not a punishment for having sex. 

It is a consequence and there is a difference. First and foremost, pregnancy is a natural (and I would say, beautiful) result of the physical union of one man and one women. It is the joining of two people in the most intimate way possible and the creation of a new soul. When you create a baby with someone, you are irreversibly linking your DNA with theirs and forever changing the genetic makeup of the human race. It's an incredible thing, really. 

Part of being an adult is making decisions. All decisions have consequences, both positive and negative. For example, if I choose to stay up all night playing video games before an exam, I'm probably not going to do so hot. My poor performance would be a consequence of my decision. Sex is an adult decision, and it comes with responsibilities--social, emotional, relational, and financial. To pretend that it is possible to have sex without consequences is foolishness. When an adult chooses to engage in it, they must recognize that should they or their partner get pregnant, they are now responsible for that child's life. They are not their own anymore, they have another life depending on them. That life is a person who has every much a right to life as they do.

In conclusion:
You see Emily, the answer to your son's suffering isn't found in the ending of his suffering. The answer to suffering is in the gospel.

So in light of that, I urge you to run to Christ, Emily.
"Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7).
Jesus Himself said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."(Matthew 11:28-29).


God's promises are glorious, but they only apply to His children. The Gospel of John says "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." If today God has worked in your heart and you see that truly, you deserve death for your sins, then look to Christ and know that if you turn from your sins (repent) and put your trust in Jesus Christ as your only means of salvation (believe) that you will be forgiven.

“Today, if you will hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” 

(Hebrews 3:15)

To all the mothers out there who are caring for terminally ill and permanently disabled children: Hang on, there is hope. Society may give up on your children. The medical community may give up on your children. But you must never give up on your children. Never lose hope. You may never see the fruit of your labor on this side of eternity, but God will not forget your work and labor of love (Hebrews 6:10).

And death came knocking

Death came knocking,
Arrayed in popularity, prosperity and the promise of fulfillment.
she called out
"stolen water is sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant,
come to my house, and you will see,
that you can have all you ever wanted"

Enticed, mind raceing at all the possibilities
cracking the door for "just one peek!"
Not seeing that under that shimmering gown
there lay a corpse
And in her house, the dead are there
for her guests are in the depths of hell

Entranced, heart desiring to be master of my own fate 
ready to forsake the arms of my first love
who died and bled so I could be free
ready to forget His promises
of true peace and true joy
ready to fling away His sacrifice
and put Him to open shame

Then I remembered, how the Lord has said
"You fool! Tonight your life will be required of you!"
and "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?" 
and "So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth
and "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God"
I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes....
 
Scripture references in order of use (Proverbs 9:13-17, Revelation 2:4, Hebrews 6:6, Luke 12:15-29, James 4:4, Revelation 3:16, Luke 9:62, Job 42:6)




I wrote this today in response to some serious soul searching and repenting the past few days. It's meant to be a spoken word (that is a poem that is performed). I'm usually not much for creative writing, but occasionally I manage to produce something of marginal quality. 

The semester is in full swing now. It's week seven and things are getting hectic. I'm carrying 18 credits this semester (along with 10-12 hours of clinical), on top of attempting to write my Honors thesis, maintain two jobs and an active church involvement. Everyday there are a million things grasping for my attention. And sadly in all this noise, I lost my focus.

I stopped living for His glory and started living for my own.

I spent this weekend laid low with a stomach virus of epic proportions, hardly able to get out of bed until Sunday, and even then, only with great effort. However, praise the Lord for that stomach virus! It forced me to finally stop moving long enough to see the direction I had been heading. I can see that this illness was indeed mercy from the Lord. Had I continued any longer in my foolishness, I would have plunged right over the spiritual cliff I was heading towards.

I get so caught up with the cares of this world. The lure of academic and career success, of relational success in marriage, of physical success in training and dieting pulls me away from my God. It's so deadly because the cares of this world slip into my life and grab a hold of my heart so slowly as to be almost imperceptible.

It is so shameful, how I could I turn my heart away to idols? After all my dear, sweet savior has done for me, how could I give my love to another? As I consider the weight of my sin, I frequently weep. It was my sin that nailed my savior to the cross. God should have crushed me, cleansed the earth from the filthiness of my depravity. Yet, God choose to crush His Son instead. The only human being who never left a sin stain on this world. Jesus loved us, served us, healed us and taught us about God. Yet we crucified Him, as surely as if we nailed His bloody hands the cross ourselves.

I am praising God today for His eternal patience. 

Thinspiration

If you've never heard of the above term, I would read this article. 

The idea of thinspiration is not a new concept to me. My younger sister actually introduced it to me as a way to motivate myself to loose weight in high school. I would toy with the idea of trying to follow their rules to achieve 'perfection'. I never followed through though. At that point in time I believed that this was a sign of gross personal failure. Now I see, that despite my indoctrination to the world of thin-at-all costs, I still had a semblance of a healthy psyche and healthy body image. Even as an unbeliever I knew there was something seriously sick and twisted about their way of thinking.

To be perfectly honest, even today, when I see so called "thinspiration," I am very tempted to believe the lies the pictures promote.

"If you were thinner, you'd be happier"
"If you were thinner, guys would like you more"
"No one will ever love you if you don't loose weight"
"You will never matter as long as you are fat" 

These lies are so deceptive and twisted. They will take over your life if you let them.  They are so dangerous because they strike right at the heart of a women. What woman can say that she does not, at the core of her, wish to be loved and cherished? Whenever I see pictures of 'thinspo', I am simultaneously disgusted and entranced. And sadly, sometimes I find myself wondering if perhaps they are right.

But these are lies. Lies straight from hell.

But, it is not enough to simply recognize the lie, we must also replace the lie with the truth.

The truth is, no matter how skinny you are, you will never feel skinny enough.
The truth is, if you hate who you are now, there is nothing you can do that will change those feelings.
The truth is, perfection is not attainable by human methods.
The truth, being skinny will not fulfill your deep desire for love and acceptance

All of these things will only leave you dry and empty, always searching but never satisfied.

Ladies, all of these lies must be addressed with the gospel. It is our only hope.

Jesus himself said: 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) 

and,

 "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life." (Revelation 21:6) 

and once again,  

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." (John 6:35) 

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who 'Himself is our peace' (Ephesians 2:14), lived a perfect life, He never sinned, not even once (Hebrews 4:15-16). Yet, he choose to bear the eternal wrath of God for us, even when we hated Him (Romans 5:1-9). "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

Friends, if you have been struggling with an eating disorder. I just want to encourage you, there is hope! There is freedom from bondage to sin. If we run to Christ, He can make us whole.  Look to Christ!